Isolated
by LMXB
Summary: As Kara struggles to work out where she belongs after recent events she becomes more and more isolated from those around her. Set just before 2x12.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Supergirl or the characters.

 **A/N:** This is set _before_ 2x12 'Luthors'

* * *

As Kara sat at home alone she felt lost and alone. Tonight should be games night, but ever since she had discovered the truth about Guardian her friendship with Winn and James had dwindled so that they barely spoke to each. So rather than playing games with her friends and feeling normal she sat alone.

When she heard the distant sirens she actually felt relieved that she had something to do. Relief that quickly turned to guilt when she arrived at the scene of the accident and rescued a screaming child from the burning car wreck whilst being powerless to save the child's deceased mother.

As she handed the child over to the paramedics she cursed herself for not being faster, not being good enough to keep the child's family together. As she recalled the relief she had felt on hearing the siren initially she felt an inner loathing build.

Feeling more lost than ever she did what she always did, she flew to Alex's apartment. But as she neared she used her super hearing to see if her sister was alone. Hearing two voices she quickly realised her visit may not be wanted especially when she heard Maggie say.

"I was beginning to think we would never get any time alone together."

"Me too." Alex agreed. "But it is just us now and my phone is off so nothing is going to interrupt us."

Refusing to ruin her sister's evening Kara turned mid flight and went back to her empty apartment.

-00-

"You okay?" Alex asked as she walked through the DEO with her sister the next day.

"Yeah, why?"

"You seem a bit off and your crinkle is becoming a super crinkle."

"I'm fine."

"Neither you or the crinkle can lie." Alex said. "So what's up? You still upset about a certain Daxamite?"

"No." Kara said.

"How about I come round tonight? We'll watch a couple of movies and eat pizza."

"You have a date tonight." Kara reminded Alex.

"Maggie will understand." Alex said.

"Alex, I'm fine really. I just have a lot on at work and Snapper is making me miss Cat more and more."

"You sure that's all it is?"

"Yes. And speaking of Snapper I have to go. Catch you later."

-00-

"What's happened to Kara?" Maggie asked as she took a seat opposite Alex in the bar.

"How do you know something is wrong with Kara?" Alex asked.

"You have the 'Kara frown'." Maggie said.

"The what?"

"When ever you are worried about Kara you get a very specific frown."

"No I don't. Do I?"

"You do. So what's happened? Did she get hurt?"

"No, nothing like that. She just seems off."

"You think she is still upset I ruined her birthday."

"You didn't ruin it and no. We talked she said she was fine."

"But?"

"I don't know. Something is just off."

"So why aren't you talking to her?"

"I tried she said she was fine and had to work."

"But you don't believe her?"

"I don't know. I mean despite who she is Kara is pretty straight forward, I mean she wears her heart on her sleeve. She's really not good at hiding things."

"Apart from the fact she is a Superhero alien?"

"Yeah, apart from that." Alex agreed. "So I don't understand why she would try to hide that something's upsetting her. Plus she is a terrible liar so she doesn't normally even attempt to hide things. Maybe it's all in my head."

"You normally imagine your sister having problems?"

"No, but maybe part of me still worries she feels left out and I'm kinda projecting my own doubts onto her."

"You know what I think? You need to talk to her." Maggie said.

-00-

"Hey Kara." Maggie said as she approached her at Noonan's.

"Hey." Kara replied. "What are you doing here?"

"Word on the street is they serve coffee and doughnuts here and I'm a cop so here I am." Maggie smiled.

"They do, but it's kind of out of your way isn't it?"

"True, but I wanted to see you as well as get my caffeine fix."

"Me? Why? Is everything okay?" Kara asked.

"You tell me." Maggie said. "Alex is worried about you and I'm worried I'm the cause of whatever it is that's upsetting you."

"Upsetting me? I'm not upset."

"Alex was right, you are a terrible liar." Maggie commented.

"I just have a lot on at work." Kara said.

"Isn't it in this type of situation that you'd talk to Alex?"

"I don't actually share everything with Alex." Kara pointed out. When Maggie stared at her she conceded. "Fine I do. But this isn't something to share. I mean it's nothing. I'm just trying to figure out where I'm going and I need time to figure that out."

"So you are not avoiding talking to Alex because you think it would cause friction between Alex and I."

"No." Kara said trying to laugh off the suggestion.

"Really? Because the way I heard it before I started dating Alex you two were practically joined at the hip." Maggie said.

"Well you've met Alex, before she started dating you she was kind of a loner. Someone had to take care of her." Kara smiled before frowning and adding. "Just don't tell Alex I said that."

"I won't tell Alex if you promise not to avoid her because of me." Maggie said.

"I promise." Kara said.

-00-

"Hey." Alex smiled as she let Maggie into her apartment.

"I think you should see Kara." Maggie greeted.

"Why?"

"I know it's not my place but I went to talk to her today."

"You did? Why?

"I was worried that you were worried and that maybe I was the cause of Kara being upset."

"So what happened?"

"We talked. She said she was fine, but you're right something is up."

"Did she say something?"

"No. But you're right she is pretty easy to read and something is upsetting her. And I don't know if this is related but when I got back to the precinct they were talking about this kid who was being released from hospital. Apparently Supergirl saved her from a car wreck a few nights back."

"Why would that bother Kara?" Alex asked.

"Because Supergirl didn't arrive quick enough to save everyone. The kid's mother died."

"Why didn't she tell me?" Alex asked.

-00-

"So were you ever going to tell me?" Alex asked.

"Tell you what?"

"About the car accident? You know the one where you saved a little girl from a burning wreck." Alex said staring at her sister. "The one where the mother died before you got there."

"I don't tell you about all my Supergirl rescues." Kara said avoiding eye contact with Alex.

"True, but you normally tell me about the ones where someone dies."

"People die all the time." Kara pointed out. "You don't have to hear about all my screw ups."

"Firstly, it wasn't a screw up, she was dead before you got there and that little girl is alive because of you. Secondly, I always want to know when something is bothering you."

"What do you want me to say?" Kara asked. "Someone died, I felt bad. I'll get over it."

"I want you to talk to me like you used to. I'm always there for you." Alex said.

"Guys, there's an alien in the park causing a massive freak out." Winn said approaching them.

-00-

As Supergirl landed in the park she saw an alien sitting alone. Walking towards it and seeing no danger she asked.

"You okay?"

In response the alien stood and held it's arms up before saying.

"Sek alf horf dil."

"I don't understand." Kara said. "I'm guessing you don't speak English?"

"Kolm hik fert. Sek alf horf dil."

"Okay, still not getting what that means." Kara said stepping towards the alien who shouted.

"Sek alf horf dil."

Raising her hands in a 'I mean you no harm' pose she stepped towards the alien who tried back away causing Kara to reach out and grab the alien's hand.

As Kara's hand touched the aliens skin she collapsed to the ground unconscious.

 _-TBC..._

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 _A/N:_ Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thanks for all the reviews.

* * *

"Hey Winn." Mon-El smiled as he walked through the DEO control room. "Why so glum?"

"Kara was attacked by some alien and now she's unconscious." Winn explained.

"What alien?" Mon-El asked concerned, before seeing an image on the screen. "Wait, is that what attacked her?"

"Um yes." Winn asked looking up. "Do you know it?"

"And it touched her?" Mon-El questioned ignoring Winn's question.

"Well more she touched it, but yeah."

"Skin to skin?" Mon-El pressed.

"I think so. But I wasn't there. Alex was though."

"Thanks." Mon-El said rushing off towards the infirmary.

"Alex, I need to talk to you." He said rushing in.

"Now's not a good time." Alex said as she sat next to Kara.

"It is the only time. It is about the creature that attacked her." He pressed.

"You know what it was?" J'onn asked from the side.

"Yes, it was a Narth. They are telepathic creatures, very reclusive. They are not violent but they have a unique defence mechanism. If anyone touches them they get put in a dream like state where they experience visions."

"What type of visions?" J'onn asked.

"From what I know it is different for everyone. But normally they play on fears or concerns. Some describe it as being trapped in a nightmare, some see different histories or futures, what could have happened or what will happen if they didn't exist, some relive past traumas. Any negative thoughts the person may have influences the visions." Mon-El explained.

"But they wake up?" Alex asked.

"Normally. I have only heard of rare cases where the victim dies."

"What aren't you telling us?" J'onn asked.

"The ones who survive are scarred by the incident. Being trapped in the vision is easy, it is the recovery that takes time. Kara has been through a lot. For all we know she is reliving the death of Krypton again and again. It may not be easy for her when she wakes."

"What if we get her out of there?" Alex asked before looking at J'onn and suggesting. "We could use the technology we used when she was attacked by the Black Mercy."

"Kara survived the Black Mercy?" Mon-El asked.

"Yes. I managed to jump into the dream and got her to wake up." Alex said.

"We could set up the equipment in an hour." J'onn said after a moment's consideration.

"Then it won't be needed. Normally the exposed person wakes within two hours." Mon-El interjected.

"That doesn't sound so bad." Alex said optimistically.

"Except in dreams time passes differently. I have heard of some people who woke within an hour, but were convinced they had been imprisoned for five years." Mon-El recalled.

"So what can we do?" Alex asked.

"Right now, nothing. But when she wakes she may need a lot of help." Mon-El warned.

-00-

"Kara?" Alex asked noticing her sister was waking up. "Kara can you hear me?"

"Alex?" Kara asked opening her eyes.

"Right here. How are you feeling?"

"What happened?" Kara asked confused.

"You touched a Narth and it telepathically knocked you out. Do you remember anything?" Alex asked as she looked at all the readings.

"No."

"Mon-El said the contact induces visions." Alex said giving her full attention to Kara.

"Visions?"

"Yeah. Do you remember them?"

"No." Kara said.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. Maybe my powers stopped it?" Kara suggested.

"Maybe." Alex said sounding unconvinced, especially when she saw how defeated her sister looked. "Try to get some rest. I'm going to run some tests and make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine. I'll go, I don't need to be here." Kara said sitting up only to find Alex trying to push her down.

"Kara, at the very least it knocked you out for two hours. You are not going anywhere until I am sure it didn't fry your brain."

"Fine." Kara said as she lay back down.

-00-

"Hey." Alex said having seen Maggie hover outside the infirmary.

"What happened?" Maggie asked.

"She got knocked out by a telepathic being." Alex said.

"She okay?"

"She said she is, but I'm not sure she is telling me everything." Alex said glancing back to the infirmary unaware that Kara was listening to the conversation. "I know you have tickets for tonight but do you mind if we take a rain check?"

"Of course not." Maggie said. "You need to be there for Kara."

"You sure?" Alex said.

"Of course I am. Call if you need anything."

"I will. Thank you." Alex said before re-entering the infirmary.

"Go." Kara said as Alex approached her.

"Sorry?" Alex asked.

"Go to the thing with Maggie tonight. I'm fine."

"Eavesdrop much?" Alex asked.

"Please don't do this?" Kara asked.

"Do what?"

"Put your life on hold because if me."

"Looking after you after you were telepathically zapped is not putting my life on hold." Alex said. "After what you've been through you are not spending tonight alone."

-00-

"Kara, I know you're in there." Alex said banging on the apartment door a few hours later. When she didn't get a response she threatened. "Open up or I am coming in."

"What are you doing here?" Kara asked finally opening her door.

"Nice to see you too." Alex said dryly pushing her way into Kara's apartment.

"Alex, I told you I was fine."

"And I told you, you weren't being alone tonight." Alex countered just before she noticed the huge, but empty, bakery box on the coffee table causing her to ask. "So you going to tell me about the visions?"

"There were no visions." Kara said.

"So why the comfort eating?"

"Alex, I'm fine. I just need to figure some things out."

"Some things?" Alex asked.

"Work things. And unless you have got a degree in journalism in the last few hours you are not the right person to help. You should go see Maggie. I have an early meeting with Snapper tomorrow that probably won't end well so I'm just going to get an early night."

"Kara-" Alex started only for her sister to cut in.

"I was just about to go to bed. I am really really tired."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. Go see Maggie."

In response Alex drew Kara into a big hug. When she eventually pulled back she said.

"If you're really tired, I will let you sleep. But tomorrow we are talking."

-00-

"Hey Kara!" Mon-El smiled as Kara walked through the DEO.

"Hey." She responded.

"So I heard about the Narth. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." Kara said. "Good thing I have powers."

"Sure." Mon-El said sounding like he didn't believe her.

"So how was the date?" Kara asked changing subjects.

"The date?" Mon-El asked momentarily confused.

"With Eve." Kara reminded him.

"Oh Eve, yes the date. Right. It was great and she is great." He smiled.

"That's good." Kara replied. "I'm happy for you."

"Are you sure you are okay after the Narth?" Mon-El asked.

"I'm fine. But I am late so see you around." She said walking past him.

"See I don't think you are." Mon-El said as Alex jogged towards them.

"Kara, there's a drone attack."

"Where?"

"The Blaze stadium."

"I'm on it." She said disappearing in a blur.

-00-

When Kara arrived on the scene she saw five drones firing into the crowd and the pitch as police and stewards desperately tried to usher people to safety. Seeing one blast of energy heading straight towards a group of children she flew to intercept using her body as a shield. When the danger had passed she used her heat vision and knocked the drone out of the sky before heading to the next target.

"Kara, we'll be there in three minutes." Alex said over the ear piece.

"May not need you they're not that hard to get rid of." Supergirl said as she blasted another two from the sky. Only this time as one of them exploded it released an electro magnetic pulse that caused every electronic gadget to fry, including Kara's earpiece. Removing the smouldering remnants she focused on the final two drones that seemed unaffected by the pulse.

As she approached the nearer of the two it opened fire on her, but rather than a harmless beam it sent her crashing to the turf.

Shaking off the effects she took to the sky dodging another blast as she went. With the drone continuing to fire at her she weaved through the sky looking for a way to defeat or deflect. Before she had a plan she was hit in the back by another blast and was knocked into the roof. Managing to grab hold of a railing she stopped her self being sent further backwards before she lifted up a panel to use it as a shield. Only as she flew once more she realised the drone had changed its target and was now firing at the DEO agents who had arrived and were swarming the pitch. Diving downwards she managed to protect the agents with her make shift shield once again obtaining the drones attention.

As she struggled to deflect the shots from the drone she was aware of a lot of shouting behind her. Turning slightly she didn't see what the excitement was about, but her brief lapse in concentration allowed the drone to hit her once more, again sending her to the ground.

As she shook off the effects of the fall she stared upwards and unleashed her heat vision once more sending the drone into oblivion. But as it exploded she heard a gunshot from behind her. Turning she saw Alex lying on the ground, her black tactical clothing darker and damp round her stomach.

"Alex!" Kara cried before scrambling over to her sister. No longer caring about the other drone that J'onn was battling. The sight of her sister lying motionless caused all of her strength to evaporate and nausea set in. As she reached her she barely had the strength to stand and collapsed to her knees by Alex's side.

"Get away." She heard Maggie order and she couldn't blame the detective, Alex was dying and it was her fault. "Kara! Get away from her." Maggie shouted moments she felt hands on her arms pulling her away from her sister.

"Kara, get back." J'onn barked as he landed at Alex's side having dispatched the final drone.

"Damn it." J'onn muttered before he started applying pressure to the wound.

Kara stumbled backwards, the nausea still rising, unable to look, Alex was dying, maybe dead and it was her fault. She had failed.

"I'm taking her." J'onn said before scooping Alex into his Martian arms and flying her back to the DEO. As she watched her sister being flown towards safety she felt her strength return and wanted to chase after J'onn, only she felt Maggie's hand on her shoulder moments before Maggie said.

"Kara, you have to stay away from Alex."

The words stung but Kara knew it was true. Just like in her Narth induced visions she cursed those around her. Unable to take it any more she flew off.

 **-TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thanks for all the reviews, things should start to make sense in this chapter.

 _Supergirl_ no I am far past that stage - I remember watching the Helen Slater Supergirl when it was first released.

* * *

"How's Alex?" Winn asked as J'onn approached him.

"In surgery. Where's Kara?"

"She isn't in the observation room?" Winn asked surprised.

"No."

"What about the training room?"

"No. I tried there. I haven't seen her since I brought Alex in. I assumed once she had recovered from the Kryptonite she followed us back."

"I've not seen her." Winn said, but on seeing J'onn's threatening expression he added. "But I can try to find her."

"Hurry Mr Schott, if she isn't here, she is out there, and there is Kryptonite out there."

"She isn't answering her phone." Winn said as he typed. "But I can track it. She's at her apartment. Or at least her phone is."

"I'll go and get her." J'onn said. "Let me know the second there is news on Alex."

-00-

"Kara, open up." J'onn said knocking on the door. Getting no response he phase shifted through the door only to find an empty apartment.

Frustrated he took out his phone and rang Winn.

"She's not here. Try again." J'onn said.

"Her phone is still at her apartment." Winn said confused.

"I know. I'm looking at it." J'onn said. "Find another way of finding her."

"Without her phone the only way I can track her is through radar contact, but I can only do that if she flies. Which she isn't doing at the moment." Winn explained.

"Damn it Kara, where are you?" J'onn asked looking round for a clue. After a minute he asked Winn. "Any news on Alex?"

"Still in surgery." Winn said.

"Okay, I'm going to get Eliza. You need to keep searching for Kara. You have authorisation to send a team to get her once you have found her. And Mr Schott, I want you to detect and track any Kryptonite that shows up. If we can't find Kara at least we can find the threat."

-00-

"Kara? What are you doing here? You're drenched." Lena said as she returned to her office and saw her friend, soaked from the storm outside, standing by her assistant's desk.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. I'll go." Kara said as Lena threw a questioning glance to Jess only to get an equally confused look back.

"Nonsense, why don't we go into my office?" Lena said trying to usher Kara away from the foyer of her office. "Jess, could you bring in some coffee and see if they have any blankets downstairs?"

"Yes Ms Luthor." Jess said standing and hurrying off.

"Why don't you sit down?" Lena said directing her to the couch.

"No." Kara said suddenly becoming aware of how soaked she was. "I'd ruin it. I should go. I shouldn't have come. I'm not sure why I did come. I can't ruin your life as well. I'll go."

"Kara, you are starting to worry me. Please sit down. It is only furniture and it is going to get replaced soon anyway. Sit please." Lena said.

When Kara eventually sat Lena watched as her friend nervously played with her hands, seemingly oblivious to the fact that anyone else was there. Not entirely sure what to do Lena gave Kara space and waited for her to speak. Just as she thought the silence had been going on too long the office door opened and Jess walked in carrying some blankets and coffee. Silently Lena directed Jess to put the items down on the coffee table before silently thanking and dismissing her. She then picked up one of the blankets and unfolded it before wrapping it around Kara's shoulders. The sudden contact seemingly snapping Kara out of her trance.

"Lena?" She asked.

"I'm right here." Lena assured her as she sat next to her friend. "Are you hurt?"

"No. Just like always I'm fine." Kara said bitterly.

"Where have you been to get so wet?" Lena asked.

"I don't know. I needed to think. It must have rained." Kara explained.

"How long were you out there?"

"I don't know...since Alex."

"What happened?" Lena asked reaching over and squeezing Kara's hand.

"I screwed up again. My sister got shot. I failed her."

"Is she okay?" Lena asked eyes wide.

"I don't know."

"Why aren't you at the hospital?"

"No one wants me there. It's my fault. They all told me to get away from her."

"I'm sure they didn't mean that." Lena offered confused by the statement.

"If they didn't they should. I've ruined her life."

"Kara, I don't know what you think you've done, but I am pretty certain you haven't ruined anyone's life. You are a good person, you bring hope not misery."

"You're wrong." Kara said suddenly standing before she started to pace. "Alex's life would have been so much better if I hadn't shown up. And now she's been shot because of me. I'm the one who is b- … she shouldn't have done it. I don't understand. Why would she do it, especially after all that I have cost her."

"Kara come and sit down." Lena said trying to guide Kara back to the couch. Having herded her back she said. "I can't follow half of what you're saying but clearly something bad has happened to your sister and I know things seem bad right now, but it will get better. Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

"I can't go. They don't want me there."

"Do you want me to call the hospital and find out how your sister is doing?"

"She's not in a hospital, it's a government facility." Kara said as she stared at her hands.

"Why don't you ring that facility?" Lena suggested.

"I don't have my phone. I didn't want to be found so I left it."

"You can use mine." Lena offered handing over her cell phone. "Why don't you call and I'll find some food? I'll be right back."

Once Lena had gone Kara stared at the phone in her hand. Slowly she started to type in Winn's number when she started to doubt herself. It was clear no one wanted her at the DEO and during the Narth visions she had seen first hand how good everyone's life was without her. Feeling lost she lay down and stared at the phone. She was desperate to know if Alex was going to be okay, but she refused to get in the way.

-00-

"Director, oh hey Eliza." Winn greeted as J'onn escorted Eliza through the DEO.

"Where's Alex?" J'onn immediately asked.

"Just been moved to the infirmary. Surgery was a success."

"Thank god." Eliza said shutting her eyes and offering a small prayer.

"I'll be back in a minute." J'onn said to Winn guessing that the IT technician needed to speak to him. He then placed a hand on Eliza's back and ushered her to the infirmary.

When Eliza stepped through the door and saw Alex she quickly rushed to her side. The sudden movement breaking Maggie out of her bedside trance.

"The doc said she would be fine. It, the bullet, missed everything important." Maggie said standing and backing away to give Eliza room.

As Eliza squeezed Alex's hand she nodded her thanks to Maggie before noticing someone was missing.

"Where's Kara?"

"She's gone missing." J'onn confessed, knowing there was no point in lying.

"What do you mean missing?" Eliza questioned momentarily glancing away from Alex.

"After Alex was shot Kara tried to help, but the bullet had Kryptonite in so we had to get her away from Alex. And then our focus was on Alex and Kara just flew off." J'onn said. "We know she went back to her apartment, where she left her phone, but we've not seen or heard from her since. But I promise I am looking."

"I put out a BOLO as well." Maggie said.

"Thank you, Maggie?" Eliza guessed.

"It's nothing." Maggie said as she nodded to confirm her identity. She then confessed. "And I think it may be my fault. I mean I was trying to look out for her and keep her away from the Kryptonite, but I'm not sure she was taking much in and then she just flew off. I thought it was to come back here, but obviously not."

"Kara does her own thing, especially when Alex is involved or when she is upset." J'onn said. "If you'll excuse me I need to check on things. You know where I am."

-00-

"Tell me you've found her." J'onn said walking up to Winn.

"No. Not yet. But I have found the Narth."

"Send a team to retrieve it. Make sure full body armour is worn and no one touches it." J'onn ordered before giving Winn a couple of minutes to follow the instruction. Once he was done J'onn asked him.

"How are you doing with the Kryptonite?"

"I think the sensors are working, but the aren't showing anything yet." Winn said.

"Keep searching."

-00

"Ms Luthor?" Jess greeted when she approached her desk the following morning and saw her boss sitting at it typing away.

"Good morning Jess. Sorry I have hijacked your desk." She said shutting down her laptop.

"Is something wrong with your desk?" Jess asked.

"No. But Kara fell to sleep in my office last night and I didn't want to disturb her with my typing."

"Is she okay?" Jess asked.

"I really don't know." Lena said. "She wasn't making much sense."

"Would you like me to fetch some breakfast?" Jess offered.

"That would be lovely." Lena smiled. With that Jess disappeared again whilst Lena stood up deciding to check on Kara. Entering her office she looked to the couch only to find it, as well as the rest of the office, empty. Seeing a small white piece of paper on the coffee table Lena walked over to it and picked it up, reading the two words which said.

'I'm sorry.'

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	4. Chapter 4

"Director. I have Kara on radar." Winn said rushing into Alex's room before realising his entrance had woken Eliza and Maggie, causing him to add. "Sorry."

"You've found Kara?" Eliza asked groggily but hopefully.

"Um, yes. She is showing up on the radar."

"I will go and get her." J'onn said. He then squeezed Eliza's shoulder and said. "I'll bring her back."

-00-

"Kara. What are you doing out here?" J'onn asked when he finally found her sitting on the CatCo roof in the rain.

"Is Alex..."

"Alex will be fine. She came through surgery and Hamilton is confident." J'onn assured her. "So what are you doing out here?"

"Thinking."

"Why aren't you at the DEO, with Alex?"

"No one wants me there. Alex was shot because of me." Kara said.

"What happened wasn't your fault." J'onn said.

"Yes it was."

"Kara you are not responsible for the actions of others. Alex chose to jump in front of that bullet."

"She shouldn't have felt the need. I should have been stronger and faster."

"Kara, there wasn't anything any of us could do."

"I should be better than that." Kara said bitterly.

"Come back to the DEO. See for yourself that Alex is okay."

"No one wants me there."

"Kara, the only person who doesn't want you there is you. Eliza is worried about you." J'onn said.

"She should be worrying about Alex. I'll just get in the way."

"Kara, what's going on?" J'onn asked.

"I screw up everything." Kara said.

"Kara you couldn't have done anything about what happened, but you can help Alex now." J'onn said going for a different tactic.

"That's what I'm trying to do." Kara said confusing him.

"Hiding up here is not helping Alex. Right now Maggie and Eliza are sitting in a small room, don't you think that will stress Alex out?" J'onn tried. "Come back with me and talk to Eliza. After that if you want to leave I won't stop you."

-00-

"Kara!" Eliza said when she saw her drenched foster daughter. Jumping up she pulled Kara into a hug but was immediately concerned when Kara stood their limply. Pulling away she cupped Kara's face and asked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry." Kara said.

"For what Sweetie?" Eliza asked concerned with how lost Kara was looking.

"Not protecting Alex."

"Kara, the bullets had Kryptonite in. There was no way Alex wasn't going to jump in front of them." Maggie said.

"Kryptonite?" Kara asked confused.

"You didn't know?" Maggie asked equally confused.

"No." Kara said shaking her head.

"That's why we were trying to keep you away from Alex." Maggie said feeling guilty.

"Did the Krytponite not effect you?" J'onn asked.

"I don't know." Kara said.

"Kara, this is important if it didn't effect you like it normally does it may be synthetic." J'onn said.

"I felt weak and nauseous, but I thought that was because Alex was...had been shot." Kara said.

"I'm going to chase the results from the tests that were run on the bullet." J'onn said before leaving the room.

"Why don't you sit down?" Eliza suggested to Kara who was standing looking at Alex.

"No, I need to go." Kara said.

"Go where?" Eliza asked concerned.

"Home. I need to change and I'm going to try to get some sleep." She said moments before leaving the room leaving Eliza dumbfounded.

"Kara, wait up." Maggie called hurrying after her. When Kara continued accelerating away from her she complained. "Using your powers is cheating."

"You should stay with Alex." Kara said reluctantly turning.

"Not until I'm sure you're okay."

"I'm fine."

"You do remember that my job is to tell when people are lying and extract the truth?" Maggie asked. "You thought I was telling you to get away from Alex because I blamed you didn't you?"

When Kara nodded Maggie said.

"I told you to get back because Alex had a Kryptonite bullet in her and I knew that was harming you. Not because I blamed you."

"You should blame me. I should be protecting Alex. I am the one with powers."

"Except Kryptonite can kill you." Maggie reminded her. "You think Alex is going to blame you? She's not. But she is going to be mad at you for disappearing when someone is out there with Kryptonite bullets."

"I'm not disappearing, I'm just going home to get some rest. You're right, Kryptonite does harm me, so I need to sleep."

"You could sleep here. Don't you have special lamps or something here?" Maggie asked.

"I'll be more comfortable at home." Kara said before disappearing in a blur.

-00-

Kara sat on her couch wrapped up in a blanket watching an old Doris Day film when someone knocked on her door. Turning she looked through the door and saw Lena on the other side. For a moment she thought she would ignore her, but when Lena knocked again Kara felt guilty about her behaviour the previous night and went to the door.

"I'm so sorry." Kara said when she opened the door.

"For what?" Lena asked, taken aback by the greeting.

"Last night. I never should have disturbed you."

"Kara, you were upset and you needed someone to talk to. My door is always open. I hope you know that. But you really worried me this morning, disappearing like that."

"I didn't want to intrude." Kara said.

"You are never an intrusion." Lena said as Kara let her into her apartment. "How's your sister?"

"Stable."

"That's good. But why aren't you at the hospital?"

"I'm not needed. I'm a hindrance." Kara said. "Alex is in a good place in her life at the moment and every time I see her I risk damaging that."

"Kara, what's going on?" Lena asked suddenly noticing lots of boxes stacked in the apartment.

"Have you ever wondered what life would be like if something major in your life hadn't happened?" Kara asked seemingly changing subjects.

"Of course. I was orphaned at four and I always wonder how my life would have turned out if that hadn't happen and if I had never become a Luthor."

"If you found out people you care about would have had better lives if you hadn't been part of it would you want to remove yourself from their lives."

"I'm not following." Lena said unsure where Kara was going. "What exactly are you feeling right now?"

"I saw how good Alex's life could be if it weren't for me. I feel so guilty, but I know what I have to do, but I'm scared, and it is selfish but I want to say goodbye, but I know that will make it worse. I just want...it doesn't matter."

"What do you want Kara?"

"It'll sound stupid."

"I'm sure it won't and I did ask." Lena smiled encouragingly.

"I want a hug." Seeing Lena look first surprised and then uncomfortable Kara added. "I told you it was stupid."

"No it's not. It's just, well you've met my mother, my adoptive mother, my family weren't big on hugs."

"That's awful." Kara said hugging Lena who wondered who the main beneficiary of this particular hug was now meant to be.

"I'm worried about you." Lena said as she pulled away. "Kara, you are my friend. Or at least I hope you are my friend and that means I am here for you. You can tell me anything."

"Well if I were you I would run away." Kara said bitterly. "Everything I do I screw up. Everyone I interact with ends up hurt."

"That's not true Kara. You help so many people through all aspects of your life."

"No. I hurt people. And Mon- Mike was right I don't help people because I am a good person, I help them because it makes me feel good."

"Kara, you do amazing things and so what if they make you feel better about yourself?"

"I'm meant to be a good person. I wanted to be a good person. But I'm no better than anyone else in my family. I say one thing but my actions are bad."

"If you ask any of the people you have saved from burning cars, crashing planes, falling cranes they are grateful to be alive and none of them would want you not to be happy."

"You know?" Kara guessed too tired to even bother denying it.

"I do." Lena confessed.

"How? When?"

"My first meeting with Supergirl you. Glasses aren't exactly a good disguise. And then of course there was the time you came to my office as you and said you flew to my office, on a bus. And let's not forget this morning when there was the escape act from my office. I know you didn't leave through the door as I was sat outside the entire time."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I assumed if you wanted me to know you would tell me. The fact you didn't tell me suggested you didn't want me to know. Seeing who my brother is I can't say I blame you. But the way you are acting suggests your problems run deeper than just Kara Danvers."

"I've spent my entire life on Earth hiding who I was." Kara said. "Telling the truth is actually hard. Plus Alex gets really stressed when new people find out."

"Well we can keep the fact I know a secret if it helps. I can pretend not to know."

"Alex would figure it out." Kara said. "But it doesn't matter anyway. I'm leaving. The city doesn't need Supergirl. The DEO did just fine without me helping round up aliens."

"And the criminals you bring to justice? The people you save from disaster?" Lena asked.

"The Guardian can do that here. There are other cities with greater problems and less help."

"What about Kara Danvers and all your friends and family? What about your sister?"

"She doesn't need me. At the moment all I seem to do is get in her way. The world would be better without Kara Danvers."

"No one who has met you would believe that." Lena said. "Kara I'm not sure what has happened to make you feel like this but what I do know is this city would not be better without you. For what it is worth I would miss you if you left. But if you really feel like you have to go I won't try to stop you. But please don't rush into any decisions. Think about it for a couple of days and see me before you do anything."

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Sorry this is later than planned, but I unexpectedly got to fly home on Friday so lost 24 hours transiting through places.

* * *

"How is she?" J'onn asked when he entered Alex's room.

"All her vitals are stable and Dr Hamilton has stopped all the sedatives so she's drifting in and out." Eliza said. "Hamilton said if she does as she is told it should be a quick recovery."

"It's probably a good thing she is asleep while Kara isn't here." J'onn said. "We'll have enough trouble getting her to rest as it is."

"What exactly happened to Kara?" Eliza asked. "Why is she being so distant?"

"She was attacked by a telepathic being. I don't know much about them, but according to Mon-El they can induce visions based on fears. Kara said she was immune but I'm starting to doubt that." He explained as Alex started to stir.

"Hi Sweetie." Eliza said gently.

"Mom?" Alex asked confused.

"I'm right here." Eliza smiled. "Do you want anything?"

"Where's Kara?" Alex asked as she looked round the room.

"At home resting." Eliza said hoping it was the truth.

"Is she doing okay?" Alex asked frowning.

"Right now you need to worry about yourself." Eliza said. "Follow Kara's example and get some rest."

"When did you get so good at deflecting?" Alex asked trying to blink away her tiredness.

"I'm not deflecting, I just want you to take care of yourself for once. Please get some sleep."

"Not tired." Alex lied.

"Sure you're not." Maggie said as she squeezed Alex's hand.

"Maggie?" Alex asked.

"Right here." Maggie smiled.

"What happened?" Alex asked.

"You were shot." J'onn stated.

"I remember that. Wait! The Kryptonite." Alex exclaimed wincing as she moved.

"Calm down." J''onn said. "Winn is monitoring the city for Kryptonite."

"Why is Kara at home? She should be here where the Kryptonite can't get her." Alex said.

"Kara needed rest." J'onn said. "We have her under surveillance. She'll be fine. But you need to rest."

"So she's safe?" Alex asked.

"As safe as she can be." J'onn said. "Now get some sleep before I order Hamilton to sedate you again."

When Alex finally drifted back to sleep Maggie offered.

"You want me to go talk to Kara again?"

"No, you stay with Alex. I'm sure she'll prefer your company. It is time Kara and I had a long talk." Eliza said.

-00-

Having knocked on the door Eliza waited, surprised when she heard some bangs from the other side.

"Kara, it's me. Is everything okay in there?" Eliza called through the door.

"Just a minute." She heard Kara call before hearing some more bangs just before the door finally opened just as Kara asked. "Eliza? Has something happened to Alex?"

"She woke up. And you weren't there." Eliza said.

"I'll come down later."

"I think you should come down now."

"I can't, I'm doing something." Kara said not moving away from the door.

"Something?" Eliza asked.

"Yeah, something." Kara said not able to come up with a suitable lie.

"Why aren't you letting me in?" Eliza asked. "Come on Kara, let me come in, we need to talk."

Reluctantly Kara glanced back into her apartment before stepping to one side and letting Eliza in.

"Why are you staying away?" Eliza asked looking round the apartment trying to figure out what Kara had been up to.

"She's been through so much because of me." Kara said.

"What do you think she'll go through when she finds out you are avoiding her?" Eliza asked.

"I'm not avoiding her."

"No, you are avoiding everyone. Why? What's happened? Does it have something to do with the Narth?" Eliza questioned before she realised what was wrong in the apartment. "Where is all your stuff?"

"I was redecorating." Kara lied.

"Redecorating? Please don't like to me." She said immediately detecting that Kara was lying. "Are you leaving?" Eliza asked, when Kara didn't immediately deny it Eliza wrapped her arms round her. "You can't leave. Alex needs you."

"No she doesn't. She'd be better off without me."

"Listen to me Kara." Eliza said pulling back so she could look her in the eyes. "Alex does not want you to leave. You need to come to the DEO with me. Alex needs you."

"I can't." Kara said pulling away. "I have to go. There's been an accident." Not giving Eliza the chance to respond she flew out of the window.

Left alone in the apartment Eliza started to look around. Moving towards the lounge area she looked into Kara's bedroom and saw all the boxes that Kara had been packing.

"Oh Kara." She said sadly before noticing the trash can full of scrunched up bits of paper. Picking one up she un-scrunched it and saw it was the start of a letter written to Alex. Torn between invading her daughter's privacy and getting closer to discovering what was wrong with her she sat on the bed before finally reading the note.

 _'Dear Alex,_

 _I am so sorry for all the pain I have caused you and everything I have cost you. I know what I have to do but I'm not strong enough to tell you in person because I know you will try to stop me so'_

With that the letter just stopped. Guessing the rest of the thrown away paper was similarly started letters Eliza sighed before writing her own note to Kara, pleading with her to come to the DEO.

-00-

"Alex? You're up? Should you be?" Mon-El asked as Alex, supported by Maggie, approached him.

"I need your help." Alex said.

"Of course, what do you need?"

"Do you speak Narth?" Alex asked.

"I'm a little rusty, but I can speak some."

"Good, come with me." Alex said.

"Come where? Should you be walking?"

"No." Maggie said supporting most of Alex's weight.

"I'm fine." Alex said before explaining to Mon-El. "I need to speak to the Narth so I need you to translate."

"Okay." He agreed before offering. "Do you want me to carry you? I know how painful bullets are."

"I'm fine." Alex said as she arrived at the containment area.

"I need you to ask what he did to Kara." Alex explained.

"Um okay." Mon-El said turning to face the Narth.

"Foj Jeh ben mi, hud akata benitto flast gat."

"Huj, huj, huj. Pleb hakate flune kanata grekko." The creature replied.

"He said he meant no harm, he was scared and she touched him. He had no control." Mon-El said.

"I don't care about that. I need to know what she saw in the vision." Alex said.

"Foj jekko haddin mekkillo fantic." Mon-El said.

"Mekkillo, fraij jin hak funde hakkote adnin...iin beffit kune."

"Well?" Alex asked impatiently.

"Just give me a second to translate." Mon-El said. After a pause he explained. "He said he doesn't control the visions, nor does he see them. But he did see so much sadness in her."

"I could have told him that." Alex said feeling angry and frustrated. "So he causes her to have visions but can't say what. All he can do is state the obvious. Great we have found the equivalent of a Betazoid."

"A what?" Mon-El asked confused.

Ignoring him Alex looked to Maggie and said.

"I need you to take me to Kara."

"Absolutely not." Maggie said. "I shouldn't even be helping you walk round the DEO. You need to rest."

"Once I have seen Kara I will. I'm going to go and see her with or without your help."

"I get that you need to see Kara, but if you turn up at her apartment and collapse in an unconscious heap it is going to stress her out even more. Your mom has gone to see her, at least see if she can get her to come down here first." Maggie reasoned. "If your mom fails then I'll help you, but if you start getting worse I will bring you straight back."

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	6. Chapter 6

"Where is everyone?" Alex asked when she opened her eyes and only saw Maggie in her room.

"My company not good enough for you Danvers?" Maggie quipped, hoping to avoid the real question Alex wanted answering. For a moment the reply had the desired effect as Alex became slightly flustered trying to come up with a suitable retort. Eventually though Alex said.

"You know what I mean. Did mom get Kara to come down here?"

"No, there was Supergirl emergency that came up."

"Kara is being Supergirl, even though there is Kryptonite out there?" Alex asked.

"Apparently." Maggie replied.

"Where's mom now?"

"Talking with your boss."

"About Kara?" Alex guessed.

"I guess." Maggie replied just before Alex slid out of bed. "What are you doing?"

"I need to see Kara." Alex grimaced as she looked for clothes.

"You do remember the whole getting shot and bed rest thing?" Maggie asked, knowing full well she wouldn't win the argument.

"I agreed to rest until mom came back. She came back, Kara didn't. I need to go and see her."

"And people say I'm stubborn." Maggie muttered before lifting a bag off the floor and placing it on the bed.

"What's that?" Alex asked.

"Clothes. I figured there would be no stopping you and you'd cause yourself more damage if you did this alone."

"You're helping me?" Alex asked surprised.

"Yes, I'm helping you. But if I think you are getting worse I'm bringing you straight back."

-00-

Having helped Alex to Kara's front door Maggie said. "I'll wait in the car. Call if you need anything."

"Thanks." Alex said trying to hide the fact the walk had drained her.

"At least sit down when you get in there." Maggie said shaking her head as she walked off.

Having seen her girlfriend leave Alex banged on the door. Getting no response she bang again calling.

"Kara, I know you're in there. I'm letting myself in."

"Alex? What are you doing here. You should be in bed." Kara said as she opened her door.

"Probably." Alex said still slightly breathless from the walk to Kara's door. "But I needed to see you."

"You need to get back to the DEO." Kara said supporting Alex's weight.

"I will, after we've talked. But I really need to sit down." Alex said as Kara helped her to the couch.

"You don't look so good." Kara said concerned.

"I'll be fine after we talk." Alex said before noticing Kara's spartan apartment and exclaiming. "You're running away? Were you even going to tell me?"

"I'm not running away. I just need to try new things."

"Like?"

"I don't know yet. I'm still trying to figure it out. But I need to take you back to the DEO."

"Not yet. Not until you tell me what happened after you touched the Narth."

"I told you, nothing happened." Kara said avoiding eye contact.

"Kara, you can't lie to me."

"Fine I saw what would have happened if I had never come to Earth. Jeremiah never worked for the DEO, he never went missing. You became an amazing scientist. You were so happy and safe."

"Who protected the City?"Alex asked.

"J'onn and the Guardian."

"That is the most stupid thing I have ever heard." Alex said. "What you saw was a vision driven by your fears and paranoias and guilt. But I don't care what your weird brain came up with. There is no way Guardian could protect this city as well as you do." Alex smiled. "And you do realise if dad hadn't joined the DEO J'onn would probably have been killed by Hank Henshaw, so your visions just don't make sense."

"And I thought you were annoying when you plot picked in Homeland." Kara said trying to sound normal so Alex wouldn't worry about her.

"Kara, ignoring the fact that the visions were just that, visions. Which as we just covered, made no sense. We have to talk about why you saw life on Earth without you." Alex said. "You said to me, well White Martian me, that you didn't want to be abandoned and I get that. But I think you are so scared of being abandoned you are the one doing the abandoning."

"Trying to find myself is not abandoning anyone." Kara protested.

"It is and it is not the first time. You were going to run off to Metropolis with your cousin." Alex reminded her. "You were going to abandon me, replace me with someone you thought would be less likely to leave."

"It wasn't like that."

"Yes it was." Alex said. "And I don't know how long I have before the pain meds completely wear off so you just listen, no talking." Alex demanded, waiting a moment before continuing. "Now I think you are so scared that I am going to leave you or replace you that you are cutting me out of your life so you are not a burden. You have managed to convince yourself that people don't want you or need you and that terrifies you." Alex said maintaining eye contact with her sister.

"It's not that. I have literally destroyed the life you had. You said it yourself before I came you were the star of the family. I took that away from you. Then I took your dad, your career, your happiness. I have ruined your life."

"Kara I don't know what the Narth did to you, how he twisted your mind and memories, but that is not how I see it. You have always been a beacon of hope in my life, even in my darkest moments. You have not ruined my life. You want to know what would ruin my life? You not being in it." Alex said. "Kara, we're sisters and although we need a warning label, we are stronger together. Always have been always will be." Hoping her words had got through to Kara she carefully held out an arm, trying not to pull her stitches and said. "Come here you stupid alien." When Kara leaned into the embrace Alex gently hugged her before asking. "You going to stop being stupid?"

"You told me being stupid was in my freaky DNA." Kara said once again trying to force herself to sound cheerful.

"The alien card doesn't get you out of this one." Alex said pulling back to look at her sister. "So are you going to stop being stupid?"

"I just want you to be happy and safe."

"Easier to do if I didn't have to chase round after you." Alex said, but seeing the guilt wash over Kara's face she added. "It was a joke Kara."

"It was also true. I hate that you have to do so much for me because I keep screwing up."

"Kara, I don't look out for you because I have to. I do it because I want to. And that's never going to change. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good, then please can you take me back to the DEO?"

-00-

"Alexandra, where have you been?" Eliza asked seeing Kara was helping her sister back into her bed in the infirmary.

"Dealing with the most stubborn alien on the planet." Alex replied.

"Who has nothing on the most stubborn human in the room." J'onn said arms folded across his chest. "Which part of rest did you not understand?"

"Please don't shout at her." Kara suddenly exclaimed feeling guilty that she was once again the cause of Alex getting into trouble. "It was my fault."

"No one is shouting at anyone." J'onn said. "But we are all concerned about the safety of both of you."

"I'm fine." Alex said, but her pale face implied a different story. "But I could really use some sleep, so perhaps we can save all the non-shouting until tomorrow?"

"Okay." J'onn agreed before threatening. "But attempt to escape again and you are going into a containment cell."

"No more escaping as long as Kara does not leave this room." Alex said. "If she leaves I leave." She added looking straight at Kara so she knew she wasn't bluffing.

-00-

"Hey." Maggie smiled when Alex woke up hours later.

"Hey." Alex asked before looking round.

"It's okay. She's sleeping over there." Maggie said pointing to an adjacent bed where Kara was fast asleep with her back to them.

"Is she okay?" Alex asked.

"Better than she was. I'm sorry." Maggie said.

"For what?"

"Not taking better care of her. I should have dragged her down here."

"You're tough, but not that tough." Alex smiled. "And she's not your responsibility."

"She kind of is." Maggie said. "You see you are my responsibility and she is yours so that makes her mine as well."

"I didn't follow any of that." Alex said trying to ignore the throbbing pain.

"Can't all be genius detectives." Maggie smiled.

"So how is she doing?"

"She's slept almost as much as you. But when she has been awake she has been withdrawn. But there haven't been any escape attempts so that's progress."

"I guess."

"Between us we aren't letting her out of our sight." Maggie promised. Seeing Alex was loosing her self in worry Maggie distracted her by saying.

"So I've met your mom."

"Kinda guessed that part." Alex said dryly. "How'd that go?"

"Good, I think. She seems nice. Obviously we were more concerned about you, but I don't think she has black listed me. Mind you that was before I helped break you out of here, so I'm probably in her bad books now. Speaking of bad books, I need to get back to the precinct before the Captain engraves my name in his bad book. I'll be back later." She added gently kissing Alex before leaving. As the door shut Alex looked over to Kara who lay with her back to her and said.

"I know you aren't asleep. We shared a room for years I know exactly what you sound like when you are asleep and this isn't it." She then waited for Kara to respond. When her sister remained silent and motionless she added. "Fine, you don't want to talk. I won't make you, yet. But I'm here when you're ready."

-00-

"Detective Sawyer?" Lena asked approaching her desk.

"Ms Luthor." Maggie replied looking up, surprised at the identity of her visitor. "Can I help you?"

"Can we talk? In private? It's about Kara."

"Kara?" Maggie asked confused.

"Yes Kara Danvers." Lena confirmed.

"Sure, I was just about to get some coffee anyway." Maggie said grabbing her jacket and leading Lena out of the precinct. When they were outside Maggie asked. "So what's on your mind?"

"I'm worried about her. She seems to have lost her bounce recently."

"Her sister got shot."

"I know, but I think there is more to it. She talked about leaving the city and now she isn't answering my calls and no one has seen her. I'm worried she has done something." Lena said, uneasy at betraying Kara's confidence, but concerned for her safety.

"She's fine. She's with Alex." Maggie said.

"So they're talking? That's a relief." Lena said.

"Do you want me to pass on a message?"

"Just tell her my window is always open."

"Okay." Maggie said. Lena was already walking off when Maggie's mind caught up to what exactly Lena had said.

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey, you guys want me to come back later?" Maggie asked entering the infirmary before she realised both sisters were awake.

"No." Kara said quickly.

Looking to Alex for confirmation Maggie sat down before commenting. "I just had an interesting visitor at the precinct."

"Who?" Alex asked.

"Lena Luthor."

"Why? Is she okay?" Kara asked.

"She was worried about you. She thought you had gone missing."

"I should go and see her." Kara said standing.

"Not while there is Kryptonite out there." Alex said.

"I can't hide here forever. Plus I need to go to work. I actually like my job and really don't want to be fired."

"Kara it's not safe."

"Nothing is ever completely safe." Kara pointed out. "Besides Winn is monitoring for Kryptonite if he finds any I can come straight back here."

"Fine, but if you aren't back here in four hours I am coming to find you." Alex warned.

"Really don't need babysitting." Kara responded as she headed to the door.

"Before you go, there's something else." Maggie said still uncertain if she should bring it up.

"What?" Alex asked.

"Lena left a message for you that I think implies she knows that you are Supergirl." Maggie explained looking at Kara.

"What?" Alex asked wide eyes, before noticing Kara's expression causing her to ask. "You told her?"

"She's my friend." Kara said. "And I didn't tell her. She figured it by herself. Same as Maggie."

"Kara what if she isn't as good as you think?" Alex asked trying not to display any anger incase it spooked Kara into running.

"She is good. I trust her. And if she is bad why would she have persuaded me to stay in the city?" The question momentarily silencing Alex who eventually asked.

"Just be careful? Please."

"Always." Kara said before leaving.

"Kara having someone to talk to is a good thing." Maggie said after looking at Alex frown for a few minutes. "She had confided in Lena that she was thinking about leaving and Lena stopped her."

"Lena maybe a good person, for Kara's sake I hope she is. But Clark thought that about Lex." Alex said. "Kara is so fragile right now, what happens if Lena is like the rest of her family?"

"Perhaps you just need to trust Kara's judgement." Maggie said.

-00-

"Kara?" Lena asked when her friend was shown into her office. "I'm happy to see you, I was worried that you had left."

"Well apparently I can't even run away without screwing up." Kara said, frustration and bitterness in her voice.

"Well I'm very glad you are still around." Lena smiled.

"I'm sorry I disappeared."

"Well I'm just happy you are still here, but I'm also surprised." Lena confessed. "As much as I hoped you would stay you seemed pretty determined last time I saw you."

"I was ready to go. I had written letters to Alex, Eliza, J'onn and you." Kara said. "Then Alex showed up on my doorstep and blackmailed me into staying. She basically said if I disappear she'll leave the infirmary again and hunt me down. So now if I leave I'll still ruin her life. I need her to understand I need to leave and she needs me to leave."

"Where would you have gone?" Lena asked.

"I don't know. I considered going to see Barry."

"Barry?"

"A friend from another Earth. He's a metahuman and he's been a hero for longer than me, but he's gone through a lot of what I have and offers really good advice."

"Sorry did you say another Earth?" Lena asked confused.

"Yes."

"As in multiverse?"

"Yes."

"And you have friends on these other Earths?"

"Well technically only one of them." Kara said.

"You really do lead an exciting life." Lena smiled.

"Trust me I don't want it. All I have ever wanted was to be normal." Kara said sadly. "To fit in, feel like I belong."

"And you don't?" Lena guessed.

"How can I? I'm an alien. I can never truly fit in. I will always be different."

"Does Alex make you feel different?" Lena asked.

"Alex has been the one constant thing in my life since I arrived on Earth. She has always been there for me and because she has always known the truth about me I've been able to talk to her and share things with her that I couldn't with anyone else. I was so concerned with fitting in and wanting to be normal I never considered that Alex might not feel normal, that she might need someone to talk to. So I shared, she listened. She shut part of herself off and kept it hidden. She must have felt so alone all those years. Now she's happy. She has Maggie and there's this light about her and I don't want to ruin that, but I miss her as well and part of me wants it to go back to how it was and I hate feeling that. Alex's whole life was ruined because of me and I know that, but I still have these selfish thoughts."

"Everyone has those type of thoughts. It is called being human. Clearly you have spent too much time around us." Lena smiled.

"But I am meant to be better than that." Kara said.

"I know it isn't the same and I can never replace Alex, but I am always here for you. And you don't have to hide anything from me. Plus I am pretty confident that there is nothing that you could say that would shock me or lessen my opinion of you."

"I wish that were true." Kara said. "But I have a dark, selfish side."

"Kara, do you really know anyone who deep down is actually one hundred percent good?" Lena asked. "Take Alex, has she really never, even unintentionally, hurt you or lied to you?" She probed causing Kara to remember her first encounter with the DEO as well as the death of Astra. Seeing the pain cross her face Lena quickly apologised. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to open up old wounds. But my point is we all have the capacity for good and bad. We all experience good and bad thoughts and we all do good and bad things. But if the good outweighs the bad then that's good enough."

"I've been bad. I was exposed to a chemical it stripped away my inhibitions I became so mean and selfish and scary."

"I remember the news reports." Lena said struggling to keep up with Kara's rapid changes of conversation direction.

"They didn't cover half if what I did." Kara said sadly. "The whole thing scared me so much. Up until then I never really believed that I could be that type of person. Then all of a sudden I was. I don't want to be that person again, but now I know that all those thoughts are there simmering away, when I act on any of them, it ..."

"Scares you?" Lena finished for her. When Kara nodded Lena said. "I actually know exactly how you feel. When Lex went mad I couldn't stand losing him. I knew the fault was his, but deep down I hoped and prayed that your cousin was to blame. I actually considered joining Lex's crusade, not because I believed in his cause, but I wanted to believe in him."

"But you didn't." Kara said.

"No I didn't, because I knew it was wrong but that didn't mean I didn't think about it."

"I had a run in with a telepathic creature." Kara said, seemingly jumping topics again. "It made me have visions. Some of them were what life would have been like if I had never come to Earth. Alex was happy and had a dad. Fort Rozz never made it down here. Life was peaceful. But then I had other visions as well, where I did come to Earth, they were in the future showing how I would effect everyone and in the visions...I caused pain."

"You lost control?"

"Big time. I used my powers for bad. I hurt people."

"Kara, it was just a vision. The fact the vision scares you so much proves that you are good person. We all have inner demons. You can't get rid of them. All any of us can do is suppress them."

"What happens if I can't. What happens if I get exposed again or wake up one day in a bad mood and rampage through the city? Why are you laughing?"

"I'm sorry." Lena quickly apologised. "I'm not laughing at you. It's just when I imagine you in a bad mood I picture you dishing out some not so cutting, but extremely polite, insults before walking off. Not rampaging through the streets. Despite what inner demons you have buried away you are just too nice for rampages and something tells me you have learned how to control your anger."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do. I met Cat Grant and I am sure at times she made your blood boil. I am sure some of the aliens and Generals you have contended with have raised your blood pressure, but you have never rampaged."

"I've really felt like it."

"But you stopped yourself." Lena pointed out. "Every day we all have to fight those dark urges. The trick is accepting that those feelings are temporary. At the end of the day you are good and you do good."

"Yet here I am doing to you what I did to Alex. I am so selfish. I mean, your mother is in jail and I am just sitting here complaining about my own problems."

"Kara, you are suffering. Your life is in turmoil and your sister is in the hospital. You should be the focus of the conversation. And I know that when the time comes and I need you, you'll be there for me." Lena said as Kara's phone rang.

"Sorry I have to take this." Kara apologised before answering.

"What is it Winn?…..Where?…...I'm on it." She said before hanging up and looking back at Lena.

"Sorry I have to go."

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	8. Chapter 8

"Kara, you are going to be flying straight past CatCo." Winn said over Supergirl's earpiece. "Why don't you pick up Guardian? He could help."

"I've already said no." Kara said flying straight past the CatCo roof where James was waiting.

"You know he is going to go down there anyway?" Winn pointed out.

"You know my feelings about him being Guardian." Kara countered. "Just tell me specifically where I need to go."

"There are reports of sink holes appearing in tunnels one, four and five and people being trapped in trains in tunnels one and five. We have lost CCTV, but based on the police reports the casualties are worse in tunnel one….oh hang on, this isn't good. There's also reports of gas."

"I'm almost there." Kara said flying into the station and hurrying to tunnel one. "There are exposed wires here. Can you cut power?" Kara asked Winn.

"One step ahead of you, just accessing the system now."

"If I freeze the pipes will the gas be safe?"

"Until it defrosts." Winn said.

"Okay." Kara responded using her freeze breath to freeze the pipes before approaching the train which was dangling over a sink hole.

"Supergirl! Help." The passengers cried.

"Hold onto something I'm going to pull the train back." Supergirl said before pulling the locomotive away from the sink hole. When she was happy it was safe she directed people out the carriage towards safety.

"Is anyone trapped?" She asked the driver.

"No. I've just come from the front, I'm the last off."

"Make sure they get back to the station, there is another train in trouble." Supergirl said before heading to tunnel five.

"This is bad." She said to Winn. There are sink holes at both ends of the train and the carriages have all decoupled. I'm going to have to fly them out one at a time."

"Good news is power and gas are off." Winn replied as Supergirl lifted the first carriage and flew it outside. As soon as it was safe she hurried back to the tunnel and lifted the next one to safety. When she returned she saw the chasms were widening and said. "The sink holes are getting worse. A carriage is falling." She said before flying underneath it and catching it. Steadying herself and the carriage she flew it outside before she returned to the tunnel to get the last carriage. But when she got there all she could see was a huge hole. "No." She said flying down the shaft until she could see the mangled remains on the ground.

-00-

When Kara entered the DEO she saw James talking to Winn. Walking quickly she hoped to pass them only to find James standing before her.

"Not in the mood right now." She said.

"Maybe if you trusted me and worked with me, it wouldn't have happened." James said.

"So this is my fault?" Kara asked.

"You told me on Krypton it was a sign of strength to ask for help, so why is it you find it so hard to ask?"

"I'm not afraid to ask for help. But I won't put people in danger." Kara said.

"Is it that you're jealous? I'm getting the cover stories not you."

"Guardian gets the cover stories as you are writing them and have full control over lead stories." Kara pointed out. "Besides I don't care who gets credit for what. You're my friend, or at least you were and I want you to be safe. I'm not going to do anything that puts your life in danger, including supporting you."

"You know what I think? Despite everything you say maybe you believe you are better than humans. You have no problem with J'onn and Mon-El helping you, but when it comes to a mere human like me you just can't work with me."

"I work with human DEO agents all the time. I'm out there every day with Alex."

"And she got shot trying to protect you." James said immediately realising he had crossed a line. "Sorry, what I meant was with my shield I could have stopped that happening."

"I think you should go." Kara said before walking off.

"You okay there?" Maggie asked walking quickly to catch up with Kara.

"You heard that then?" Kara guessed.

"I didn't mean to, but you two were being kind of loud." Maggie said before asking. "You know he's an idiot right?"

"Who James?" Kara questioned. When Maggie nodded Kara said. "No he's not. Not really. He just wants to make the city safer and I get that."

"I know I don't know him, but as part of my job I need to profile people, figure out what makes them tick and I have a different take on it." Maggie said. "When he was in Metropolis everyone knew him as Superman's best buddy. Sure he won a Pulitzer, but that photo was a picture of Superman. His life, his success, was linked to your cousin. He moved out here because he wanted to break free from that, to branch out right? Have a life of his own? But your cousin asked him to keep an eye out for you."

"How do you know that?" Kara asked confused.

"Alex told me." Maggie explained. "But my point was he started to hang with you, got involved in the background, but unlike with your cousin he wasn't the goto guy. You have Alex and J'onn and Winn. James was just another figure in the background. He didn't have the identity or the credit he needed to feel special."

"So you are saying he risks his life every night to get recognition?"

"I wouldn't put it quite as simply as that, but in part, yes."

"He's not like." Kara said.

"As nice as it is you defend your friends even after they're jerks you need to accept he is wrong and what happened out there wasn't your fault."

"I'm meant to protect people. I failed." Kara reminded her. "James was right I should have got help."

"Help was coming Kara, the DEO, the police, they were coming, but only you made it in time. Those seventy three people are alive because of you."

"And seven are dead because I wasn't fast enough."

"Kara, you can't save everyone and I know how bad if feels when someone dies on your watch, but if you keep blaming yourself it is going to tear you apart. You have to focus on the good you do. If you had taken Guardian he wouldn't have been able to change things. The only difference is he may have died." Maggie said allowing her words to sink in before adding. "If you really want to do good though and make a difference you can figure out a way to make sure Alex rests when she is released tomorrow." The comment earning a small smile from Kara.

-00-

When Kara entered her silent apartment that evening she went straight to the couch and curled up. She felt so overwhelmed she was struggling to process everything. Part of her just wanted to take to the skies and have a head clearing flight. But she knew if she did that someone at the DEO would notice and they would tell Alex who would demand to know why she needed to clear her head. She knew Alex wanted to help, but this was something she had to fix herself.

The visions had shown the damage she had done and the damage she would do and no matter what everyone said their lives would be better without her. But she didn't want to hurt them or cause them pain, she needed to disappear in away that wouldn't make them worry. Then with time and space they would see everything she was responsible for and they would know life was better without her.

Standing she started to pace her apartment at super speed trying to figure out a way to leave without causing worry. After several minutes and no ideas she sat back down and turned on her laptop hoping that by concentrating on work her mind might subconsciously figure out a solution.

As she read the emails from people asking for help to find loved ones she suddenly had an idea.

-00-

"What do you want ponytail?" Snapper asked without looking up from what he was reading.

"I have an idea for a story, but it will involve me disappearing for awhile."

"Sounds win win to me." He said dryly before looking up and asking. "What's the story?"

"Anti alien cults."

"Go on."

"Several months ago you were interested in how leading religious figures responded to the presence of aliens." Kara said.

"I was." He agreed.

"Turns out their responses were too liberal and several cults have started, who want you destroy every alien on the planet."

"Like Cadmus?" Snapper asked.

"Cadmus could be behind all of the cults." Kara agreed.

"So what? You are going to knock on the door and ask them to share the details of their evil plan?" Snapper asked. "Because in my experience cults don't like talking to the media."

"I could join one of them, well pretend to."

"Cults may get the weak minded and the nut jobs to join them, but the leaders tend not to be idiots. No one is going to believe that Sunny Danvers has done a one-eighty on aliens."

"Unless they have reason to." Kara said.

"So what's the plan? You going to write a story about how an alien stole your teddy bear?" Snapper asked.

"I was going to write an article against Supergirl."

"You're turning on your bff? This I have to hear." Snapper said giving Kara his full attention.

"I have written an overly critical article about Supergirl, listing all her screw ups and reasons why the city should turn their back on her. Especially after the train fiasco. You publish it and there will be a public backlash and, you could fire me for it. And then an alien will have cost me my job."

"Let me get this straight." Snapper said feeling a migraine building. "You have finally written the article on Supergirl you have so far refused to write? But you want me to fire you for actually following orders so you can run away and join a cult?"

"Pretty much."

"I really don't know if I should be impressed or concerned. But the answer is no."

"What? Why?" Kara asked eyes wide.

"It's dangerous. And as annoying as you are I have a duty of care to my staff."

"What if I had back up?"

"Who?"

"I could work with NCPD."

"Cults are dangerous Danvers. You can't just phone home when it gets tough."

"I know that."

"Let me think about it." Snapper said. When Kara started to turn he added. "Leave the Supergirl article."

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey Kara." Maggie said opening Alex's apartment door. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you."

"Why? Is Alex okay?"

"See for yourself." Maggie said stepping to one side.

"Hey." Kara greeted her sister as she entered the apartment where Alex was sitting on the couch looking bored.

"Tell me you have a case." Alex pleaded.

"You are meant to be resting." Kara pointed out.

"Despite all her degrees she hasn't figure out how." Maggie smiled.

"I am so bored." Alex complained before noticing Kara was nervously fidgeting with her hands. Causing her to ask. "What's wrong?"

"I have something to tell you and I need you not to freak out." Kara said sitting opposite her sister.

"What have you done?" Alex asked.

"Nothing yet, well not really. But Snapper has given me the opportunity to work on a really big story."

"That's great." Maggie smiled.

"Why would that freak me out?" Alex asked.

"To work on the story I've needed to do something and I may have to go a way for awhile and join a kind of political group as a reporter."

"Go where?" Alex asked.

"The group travels round."

"I'm coming with you." Alex immediately said.

"No you're not. You need to rest and heal. And this is my career, I need to do this by myself."

"What's the story?" Alex asked, clearly not believing Kara.

"Just looking at the rise of new political groups." Kara said trying to look innocent. Seeing Alex's sceptical look she offered. "Want me to get a note from Snapper?"

"I want you to tell me what you are hiding." Alex said.

"Fine, the group is kind of right winged and hates aliens."

"And you don't see a problem with you, an alien, going?" Alex asked eyes wide.

"Well it is not like I could tell Snapper that is it?" Kara pointed out. "But I'll be fine, thanks to the article and me getting fired we have a good cover story-"

"Cover story? You're a reporter not a cop." Alex said unimpressed with what she was hearing before her brain finally caught up with her ears. "What article? You've been fired?"

"Tell me you're not following this either." Maggie said equally lost.

"For this to work I need people to believe I hate aliens and based on my previous stories I don't exactly have that reputation. So, well, I wrote a kind of scathing article on Supergirl. After it gets published tomorrow morning there will be a backlash and Supergirl is going to get me fired. And then people will believe I have a reason to hate aliens." Kara explained.

For a minute Alex sat staring silently at Kara before eventually saying. "That's it, you are coming back to the DEO, clearly the Narth fried your brain somehow."

"I'm not mad. This is something I want to do, I need to do. I have though this through. I am not rushing into anything. And I am doing this. I just don't want you to freak out when you see the headlines tomorrow."

"Yeah, because that's the part of the plan that will freak me out." Alex said sarcastically.

"If the article doesn't do it's job I won't be going anywhere." Kara pointed out. "I have to go, there's a lot of sirens going. I'll see you later."

After she had flown out of the window Alex turned to Maggie and asked.

"You heard that as well right?"

"I did." Maggie said. "But she seemed pretty determined. And unless they have Kryptonite she should be safe right?"

"Except there is Kryptonite out there remember?" Alex said.

"Which Winn is scanning for, so she will have a whole army protecting her."

"I really don't like this, but I get the feeling if I yell at her she'll go off and do it anyway." Alex said frustrated.

-00-

"Kara? Are you okay?" Lena asked when Kara entered her office a few days later.

"Yeah, no. I honestly don't know anymore." Kara replied truthfully.

"From the article you wrote destroying your own reputation I would go with no." Lena said glancing at the CatCo magazine on her desk.

"Nothing I wrote wasn't true." Kara said.

"Maybe, but it wasn't exactly a balanced article. To write with that much self-loathing is ...well I'm worried about you."

"You don't need to worry. The article was part of a plan."

"A plan?" Lena asked.

"I need the world to believe I have turned on Supergirl."

"Why?"

"So I can get fired and work on a new story."

"If you're fired why would you be working on a story?" Lena asked confused.

"I won't really be fired, but as far as the world is concerned I will be. And that's why I'm here, I wanted to tell you, in person, I'm leaving. Not forever, just a few weeks. So I can work this story and I don't want you to worry."

"Sounds interesting." Lena said cautiously. "What's the story?"

"Anti-alien cults." Kara said. For a moment Lena was too stunned to say anything. Eventually though she asked.

"Is that wise? If they discover who you are won't that put you in danger?"

"I won't give them reason to suspect me. I'm just going to be naive and impressionable Kara Danvers who has just lost her job because of Supergirl."

"Why?" Lena asked.

"Why what?"

"Why go after these cults? There must be plenty of stories you could pursue outside of the city. But you pick the one most dangerous to you."

"A woman wrote to me begging for my help because her daughter had joined one of these cults, maybe I can find her."

"It could be a trap." Lena pointed out.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take."

"Is that the only reason?"

"There's a chance these cults are linked to Cadmus. If they are maybe I can find Jeremiah."

"So your sister is going with you?"

"No, I don't want to build her hopes up, plus she is meant to be resting."

"But you are telling her?" Lena asked.

"She knows I'm leaving the city for awhile." Kara said hiding the fact Alex didn't know the full story. "Anyway I don't want to keep you I just didn't want you to worry when I don't call for a while."

"Kara wait." Lena called moving over to her wall safe, which she opened as she explained. "Do you remember my alien detection unit? The one you burnt through."

"Um, yes." Kara said looking embarrassed as Lena took something from the safe.

"As part of the system tests we had to discover bugs in the system to make it as accurate as possible. False positives are a lawsuit waiting to happen. During the test we discovered some small flaws that allowed alien DNA to go undetected, without the need to fry the entire system. Obviously we fixed the bugs, or most of them. A couple remain that no one knows about. I won't bore you with the details, but this ring will help you fool a detector." Just make sure you use the hand it is on with the machine."

"Thank you." Kara said gratefully.

-00-

"You're really doing this?" Alex asked when she entered Kara's apartment and saw two packed bags.

"I am."

"Why? I don't understand. National City is huge and there are plenty of big stories."

"You really want the truth?" Kara asked.

"I do. You know you can tell me anything."

"The truth is I feel lost. I don't know what I'm doing or what I want to do. I just feel so rushed the whole time it is like I never have a chance to stop and reflect. This story gives me a chance to concentrate on reporting for awhile and to find my feet and lets me do something good as Kara."

"What about Supergirl duties?"

"I was hoping you could persuade J'onn to fill in for me as least for a few days so we don't disappear at the same time." Kara said hopefully.

"What else aren't you telling me?" Alex asked knowing Kara was hiding something.

"If I get accepted into the inner circle I will have to be without my phone for a few weeks."

"I don't like this Kara."

"I know you've lost faith in me and I get that-"

"Kara I have not lost faith in you. There is no one in this world I trust more." Alex said squeezing her hand. "But I am your sister and I will always worry about you. You have nothing to prove so why are you putting yourself in danger?"

"I need time to figure out who I am. I can't do that here. I know it is risky, but this gives me the chance to find myself. Please support me on this."

"What happens if you get into trouble? What if they are the ones with the Kryptonite?" Alex asked.

"I have one of Kal's watches." Kara said holding out her wrist. "If I need help I can get it. I know you are worried, but I need to do something by myself. It's time for me to break free and become independent. I need to prove I can do it."

"I really don't want you to go." Alex said. "But I also know how miserable you are right now and if you think this will help I won't stop you. But Kara I need you so you had better come back in one piece okay?" She said before hugging her.

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N:**_ Thank you for all the comments. I am happy so many of you are enjoying this. _**Alex**_ , thanks!. _**Green-tea01**_ I have often shared in your frustration, which is why I try to update quickly! I aim to get about six chapters up per week. I will have to skip the odd day due to travelling though.

* * *

 _ **A month later…..**_

"Still no news?" Maggie asked when she entered Alex's apartment and saw her girlfriend pacing the apartment.

"Nothing." Alex said frustrated.

"She did warn you she would be out of contact." Maggie reminded her sensing Alex was on the verge of panicking. "And she had a way to call for help. I take it her cousin hasn't been in contact."

"I called him. He hasn't heard anything." Alex said. "And I know she is smart and can take care of herself, but I'm worried. It's been nearly a month since she phoned or emailed."

"Have you turned up anything on the political group she was trying to infiltrate?"

"Nothing sinister. I mean they are right winged, but they aren't linked to violence and I can't find anything that links them to Cadmus and I have really searched. Plus the founder is really reclusive and only talks to trusted reporters, which ties into what Kara told us."

"But you're still worried?"

"Yeah. Maybe it is because this is the longest I have gone without talking to Kara since she came to Earth but I think something is wrong."

"Well as a cop I believe in following your gut instinct." Maggie said. "Why don't you talk to her boss? I mean he wouldn't just send her out there without some plan to communicate."

"You're right. I'll see him tomorrow." Alex said.

-00-

"I need to know where she is." Alex said entering Snapper's office.

"Good for you." Snapper said unfazed by the intrusion.

"Where is she?" Alex demanded bringing her hands down on the desk.

"Where's who?" Snapper asked wearily.

"Kara."

"Danvers? What's it to you?" He asked glancing up.

"I'm her sister and she hasn't made any contact for nearly a month. Where did you send her?"

"Firstly I didn't send her anywhere. It was her idea. Secondly does no one in your family understand how cults work? Communication to the outside world is almost impossible."

"Wait. What? Cult?" Alex said struggling to keep up. "I thought she was following a new right wing political group."

"That's a euphemism if ever I heard one." Snapper commented. "She really didn't tell you did she?"

"Tell me what? All she said was you were sending her to cover the political group."

"Were it not for the fact I sense much unneeded paperwork in my future I'd be impressed at your sister's new found ability to deceive." Snapper said before explaining. "Your sister found herself a good angle on some new anti-alien cults, they could even be linked to Cadmus. She figured out a way to make people believe she had turned on aliens and then went off to get the story."

"You let her join a cult?" Alex asked in disbelief.

"Your sister is the most stubborn person in this office. She wasn't after my blessing, she would have done it regardless."

"Have you heard from her?" Alex asked.

"No."

"And that doesn't worry you?"

"In my experience it takes at least six weeks to gain enough trust in a cult to even consider leaving a mark on a stone. At this stage no news is good news." Seeing Alex was seething he added. "Relax she is working it with the cops."

"The cops? Who in particular?" Alex said.

"Let's see, one….one..." He said thumbing through a notebook. "Here we go, Detective Sawyer." He said causing Alex to turn and storm out of his office.

"Guess we know which one of you got the aggressive genes." He muttered before going back to proof reading the article. After a minute he sighed and picked up the phone, he hit speed dial and impatiently waited for someone to answer. Finally he said.

"It's me. I may have a job for you, one of my reporters may have got into trouble….No not Fishman for a change, a newbie. I need you to dig." There was a pause as he listened to reply. Eventually he said. "Find her and we'll talk pay." With that he hung up.

-00-

"Did you know?" Alex said walking up to Maggie who was crouched in front of a tyre mark.

"Did I know what?" Maggie asked turning to face Alex.

"About Kara."

"What about Kara?" Maggie asked confused.

"The cult."

"What cult? Wait, has Kara joined a cult? I thought she was away working." Maggie said struggling to keep up.

"She is, she has gone undercover in a cult, apparently with the help of a Detective Sawyer."

"What? I haven't spoken to her since before she left."

"Damn it Kara." Alex said angrily before walking off.

"Where are you going?" Maggie needlessly asked as she stood and hurried after Alex.

"Where do you think?" Alex shot back.

"Shouldn't you get J'onn involved? I mean you have a whole organisation at your disposal who could help. Also, say Kara isn't in trouble and you go in guns blazing and ruin her story isn't that going to alienate her more?"

"Did I mention it was an anti alien cult? If they have found out she is an alien she could be dead."

"And I'm not saying we don't go and look, I'm just saying we go in carefully and with help, okay?" Maggie said carefully.

"Okay." Alex agreed.

"Good, let's get down to the DEO." Maggie said.

-00-

"She's done what?" J'onn asked after Alex broke the news. "What was she thinking?"

"Clearly she wasn't." Alex said as she paced. "I knew she was miserable, but I never thought she would do something this dangerous or stupid."

"Mr Schott I want every asset we have looking for Kara." J'onn said marching over to Winn.

"What's happened?" Winn asked before noticing the scowls he was getting. "Right not important. I'll focus on finding her. Which is easier without everyone watching."

"She could have been taken anywhere." Alex said pacing. "If they are linked to Cadmus who knows where they would have taken her, or if she is still alive."

"This is taking too long." J'onn said pushing Winn's chair to one side before typing a command. Having entered a password the screen displayed a map with a flashing dot. "Winn send me every piece of intel you get on that location." He ordered before looking at his strike team and saying "Let's go."

"What was that?" Alex asked hurrying out of the control room.

"It's a tracking program."

"How are you tracking her?"

"Her necklace." He explained.

"How?"

"While she was sleeping in the infirmary I phased a tracker into it." He explained before justifying. "The amount of trouble the pair of you get into it seemed prudent."

"Are you tracking me?" Alex asked as she jumped on the helicopter behind him.

Instead of answering J'onn put on his headset and said. "Agent Taylor, take her up."

-00-

"This could be a trap." J'onn warned as the helicopter came into area of interest. "Assume everything is a danger." Seeing nods from everyone he continued. "Agent Danvers and I will lead the breach. Baker, Marshall and Price set up a perimeter. The rest of you provide cover." He finished as the helicopter reached it's location.

"Let's go." He ordered as they started to abseil out of chopper. As soon as their boots hit the ground they fanned out as per his instructions as Alex and J'onn entered the small building where Kara's tracker was located.

Alex had imagined many scenes that might meet them and what she saw was just as heart breaking. Lying unconscious in the middle of the floor was her sister. Ignoring the potential trap Alex rushed to Kara's side and felt for a pulse, feeling her anger boil when she saw Kara was bruised and covered in cuts.

"She's alive, but must have lost her powers." She said trying to remain focused.

"I've got her." J'onn said picking Kara up in his arms.

"I'll figure out what happened." Alex said knowing going with J'onn would only slow him down. As J'onn left a screen on the far wall powered up and showed the Cadmus avatar moments before a robotic voice said.

"Alexandra Danvers. I have heard so much about you. Please pass on a message to your sister. Tell her she failed to hold up her end of the arrangement. Everything that happens now is on her."

With that the screen went black.

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	11. Chapter 11

"I don't get it. The door wasn't locked, she wasn't tied up, she could have left anytime." J'onn said as he stared down at Kara, who lay unconscious in the infirmary.

"If she was conscious." Alex said grimly.

"It's a big risk to leave a prisoner unsecured conscious or not." J'onn reminded her.

"Could they have been guarding her but then saw you coming and left?" Maggie asked from Alex's side.

"Not according to Winn. He's been scanning imagery from the last two weeks and it looks like she was alone for most of the time." J'onn explained. "Every day or so two people entered the building carrying a small box stayed for a few hours and then left with the box. Everything we've seen implies Kara could have walked out anytime they weren't there, even without her powers."

"Could Kryptonite have been used to stop her moving?" Mon-El asked.

"We didn't find any." Alex said. "But that is what could have been in the box. If the box was lead Winn's scans wouldn't have picked it up."

"Guys, I've seen something odd." Winn said entering the infirmary.

"What?" J'onn asked.

"This is thermal imagery from where Kara was being held. Just after we think she was moved there, there was a big spike." He said showing them his screen. "Two days later another. Then another two days later. The next three days, then three, then four, then five and five then a six. Always short intense bursts lasting no more than a couple of minutes."

"She was...what did she call it? Solar flaring." Mon-El said. "The box could have had that helmet thing she used last time. And that's why she doesn't have powers."

"Why would she solar flare?" J'onn asked.

"To protect someone." Mon-El said. "Last time it was to save my life."

"But there was no one else there." Alex said.

"But there could have been someone at the other end of that video link. It may explain the message you heard when you were there." J'onn said before turning to Winn. "Mr Schott, see if you can trace it or find out what other messages were sent."

"You know it doesn't actually work like that?" Winn asked before noticing J'onn's scowl. "By which I mean I'm on it."

"If you're okay here I'm going to go through reports we have at the precinct that match the cult Kara was trying to join. Maybe I can get a name. I'll let you know if I find anything." Maggie said to Alex who wasn't really listening. Instead she stared at her sister wondering what had happened.

-00-

"Kara?" Alex asked when she saw Kara open her eyes.

"A...lex?" Kara croaked.

"I'm right here. You're safe now."

"No." Kara sobbed.

"Kara it's okay now." Alex said.

"No no no. Not the DEO." Kara cried. "Take me back."

"Kara you're safe." Alex repeated.

"No, I promised." Kara said getting out of bed only to land in a heap on the floor. "Have to go back….only way." She added trying to crawl across the floor.

"Kara please." Alex said grabbing hold of her sister and trying to help her back to the bed.

"No. Have to go. Please." Kara begged trying to fight off Alex. But without her super strength she was no match for her sister who tightly held onto her.

"Kara you are safe now. You're not going anywhere." Alex soothed.

"No." Kara said getting more and more upset. "Please. I have to go. Please Rao don't let it be too late."

"Kara, you're hurt." Alex said not releasing her despite how hard Kara was fighting to escape.

"Have to go." Kara repeated.

"Kara you're not leaving." Alex said more firmly before noticing one of Kara's wounds had opened during the struggle. "Kara please calm down you're bleeding."

"No, I have to go." Kara repeated crying hysterically as Hamilton approached the pair.

"Kara I promise you that you are safe now. I'm not going to let them hurt you." Alex tried to comfort.

"No. Please. Let me go." Kara said fighting with every ounce of strength she had left, uncaring of the damage she was causing her body.

"Kara, please calm down." Alex pleaded moments before Kara sagged in her arms.

"It's okay, I've sedated her." Hamilton said as she helped Alex put Kara back onto the bed. "With her injuries she shouldn't be moving round."

"I tried to stop her, but she was desperate to get out of here. It sounded like she wanted to go back."

"We don't know what happened, but confusion and disorientation can be normal after traumatic events." Hamilton said. "For now all we can do is keep her comfortable and calm. As she still doesn't have her powers we can sedate her if she gets agitated again, but I would prefer not to do that."

"Me too." Alex agreed as she squeezed Kara's hand, wondering what exactly she had been through.

"I need to restitch these wounds." Hamilton said examining the damage Kara had done to herself. "I know you'll say no, but you need to rest too." Hamilton reminded Alex. "You are still healing from the gunshot wound."

"I'll make sure she rests." Eliza said entering the infirmary.

"Mom." Alex greeted before hugging her mother. "I'm so sorry, I should have stopped her going."

"It was Kara's decision." Eliza reminded her. "What matters now is making sure Kara knows we're here for her."

-00-

"Kara." Eliza called gently when she saw her adopted daughter start to wake.

Opening her eyes Kara scanned the room looking confused and disorientated. "No, not here." She sobbed as she recognised her surroundings.

"Kara." Eliza gently repeated causing Kara to look round at her.

The second she saw Eliza she started crying uncontrollably and said. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Eliza asked.

"I wasn't strong enough. He's dead now. It's my fault."

Not understanding what Kara was saying Eliza climbed on the bed and engulfed Kara in a hug as Alex looked on helplessly.

"Who's dead?" Eliza gently asked ignoring Kara's attempt to not be hugged.

"Jeremiah." Kara sobbed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Kara whatever happened was not your fault." Eliza said holding onto Kara tightly until she had cried herself back to sleep.

When Eliza was convinced that Kara was asleep she looked over to Alex and asked. "What was she talking about?"

"I don't know." Alex said.

"But we're going to find out." J'onn said before leaving the room followed by Alex.

-00-

"What have you discovered?" J'onn asked as he and Alex approached Winn.

"Me? Um, nothing." Winn said spinning round in his chair to face them.

"You've had hours to figure this out." J'onn said. "Surely you've tracked the two people who visited the building."

"Sure, I tracked their rental car, paid for with a stolen credit card, to a motel, paid for with a stolen credit card. The room had been completely cleaned out and all surfaces wiped clean and their faces aren't being picked up on any recognition program. But Maggie is trying to trace them. She is also tracing down some leads on the people Kara may have met."

"What about the video link?" J'onn asked as Alex stalked up and down the control room unnerving Winn.

"The video link in that building was connected to the internet. It was accessed by a specific IP address, but that IP address had been routed through several hubs. There is literally no way of tracing it."

"Then find another way." Alex snapped coming to a stop behind Winn. "We have to find out what happened to her."

"I'm doing the best I can." Winn said. "But these guys are smart and know how to cover their tracks."

"Then be smarter." Alex said walking off.

"You want to talk about it?" J'onn asked Alex as he caught up to her.

"It?" Alex asked.

"How you're feeling. You are giving off more emotions than the rest of the base combined." J'onn said.

"I'm fine." Alex said not feeling like a heart to heart.

"Even if I weren't telepathic I would know that was a lie." J'onn said placing a hand on Alex's shoulder and forcing her to turn to face him.

"Fine. I'm mad at Kara for lying to me. I'm mad at her for being stupid. I'm mad at me for not seeing it. I'm mad at me for not protecting her. And I'm mad at the world for her getting hurt again." Alex listed.

"Your sister is tough, she'll make it through this." J'onn promised.

"You don't know that." Alex said.

"Yes I do, because she has you and you won't let her be anything other than okay." J'onn said. "But with you like this I can't be sure the rest of the Agents here will be okay. So how about we get in some sparring practice whilst Winn gathers some intel? Punching and kicking normally calms you down."

"I thought you said I couldn't spar when I was angry, we had to talk about my feelings over coffee." Alex said.

"One time exception. Besides I'm not sure caffeine will do you any good right now." J'onn pointed out.

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing. Next chapter up on Monday.


	12. Chapter 12

The next time Kara woke she found herself still being cradled in Eliza's arms and immediately tried to pull away. Eliza was having none of it though and pulled Kara tighter into her chest.

"It's okay Sweetie." Eliza soothed. "You're safe now. They can't hurt you any more."

"But you can be hurt." Kara said. "I'm poison you have to go."

"I'm not going anywhere." Eliza said, her tone firm but kind. "And you are not poison. You are the light that drives us to be better."

"You don't understand. You don't know what I am." Kara said still trying and failing to escape Eliza.

"You are my daughter." Eliza said as she continued to hug Kara.

"I've caused so much pain."

"Kara you have brought so much happiness into people's lives." Eliza said.

"That doesn't make up for everything I have destroyed. You should hate me."

"Kara I love you. Nothing is going to change that." Eliza said as she continued to hold her. When Kara's body seemed to relax Eliza asked. "Are you in pain? Without your powers Dr Hamilton has been giving you drugs to help, but we don't know if they work."

"I'm fine."

"Do you want to talk?"

"No. I want to, I need to go back."

"That's not happening." Eliza said. "You are not leaving this room until your powers are back and you have told us what happened."

"I killed him." Kara said as she started crying again. "Please let me go. It will be better for everyone."

"Kara, you are staying here and I'm staying right here too. I'm not leaving you." Eliza said.

-00-

"How is she?" Maggie asked as she walked up to Alex who stood outside the infirmary watching Eliza talk to Kara.

"I don't know. She keeps saying she wants to go back. She said she was poison and that mom should hate her. I don't know how to help her." Alex said upset and frustrated.

"She was held for nearly a month by a cult. Cults form as they have people who can almost brainwash people into believing what they have been told." Maggie pointed out. "Maybe she underwent some sort of mental conditioning."

"Kara's strong." Alex said dismissing the suggestion. "I mean really tough. She has endured so much."

"Everyone has doubts." Maggie said. "And Kara was not herself when she left. Maybe they exploited that."

"So how do I fix her? I hate seeing her like this."

"It may not be that easy." Maggie warned. "I worked a case a few years back that involved a cult. The people who were rescued, it took time to get them to see what had happened."

"But they went back to who they were?" Alex asked.

"I don't think anyone who is brainwashed by a cult can truly go back to the life they had." Maggie said. "I mean people join cults for a reason, normally they've had something traumatic happen to them or they reached rock bottom. Those issues have to be resolved first."

"Kara didn't join a cult she was captured by one. She shouldn't have been susceptible to what they were saying. I mean she's an alien, she is never going to be brainwashed into thinking all aliens are evil." Alex said.

"True, but the techniques they use to manipulate, they could have used on her to make her feel worthless. They are good at playing with people's emotions. And it may take time to undo what they did."

"How did you help the people who were rescued?" Alex asked.

"I didn't. There are specially trained people who help with deprogramming. But simplistically you discredit what they were told and the person who told them."

"Only to do that we need to know what Kara was told." Alex said frustrated.

"Your boss can't read her mind?" Maggie asked.

"No. He can't read Kryptonian minds, even when they don't have powers." Alex said.

"We'll figure out a way to help her." Maggie said. "Maybe it is not as bad as I'm making out. Maybe she just needs time. Either way she needs her sister. You should go in there."

"Last time she saw me she got really agitated and tried to escape. At least she is calm with mom." Alex said.

-00-

"How's Kara?" Mon-El asked when Alex approached him, Winn and J'onn as they stood round a console.

"The same. Whenever she wakes up she gets upset. But mom thinks she is being calmer. They managed a kind of normal conversation an hour ago and mom got Kara to eat something."

"That's something." J'onn said.

"Have you got anything?" Alex asked.

"Not yet." Winn confessed. "But I'm working on it."

"Something else on your mind?" J'onn asked looking at Alex.

"For the last fourteen hours I have been trying to work out how to help Kara. But until we know what happened that's hard to do. So I was wondering, is there anyway we can use the Narth to figure out what happened?" Alex asked out of desperation.

"You think he could read Kara's mind?" J'onn questioned.

"He said he could sense her sadness, maybe he could actually see what happened." Alex suggested.

"No." Mon-El said firmly. "You can't use the Narth."

"Why?" J'onn asked.

"The Narth aren't a bad race, but they have been used for evil. There are stories of them being used as a torture technique."

"You didn't think about mentioning this before?" J'onn asked.

"Why? He's already locked away." Mon-El shrugged. "Besides, as I said the Narth aren't bad but they were exploited because they can't control their power. One touch and the person touched is in their own nightmare. So using the Narth is bad, even if his intentions are perfectly good he couldn't control his power. Kara would go back to having dark visions."

"So what do we do?" Alex asked as she started to pace. "There has to be something we can do."

"Right now all we can do is wait." J'onn said.

"I hate waiting." Alex said.

"Really? Didn't get that vibe from you." Winn commented sarcastically, but on seeing Alex's face he added. "Not helpful. You know, I am going to go back to finding who did this? And I'm going to work in that office which has a lockable door. So see you." He finished as he scampered off.

"Alex, I know it is hard, but all you can do is be there for her." J'onn said.

-00-

"Hey." Alex whispered as she entered the infirmary.

"Hey." Eliza smiled wearily.

"I thought you may be hungry." Alex said offering her a protein bar. "It's the most nutritious we have here."

"I hope you eat more than just this." Eliza said taking the bar off Alex.

"You think Kara would let me get away with eating just those?" Alex said, her eyes going to Kara who lay asleep. "How is she?"

"Calmer. I don't know if that is the sedatives and pain medication though." Eliza replied glancing down at Kara. "Dr Hamilton said she's scaling everything back so I guess we'll see." Noticing Alex's deep frown she asked. "What's bothering you?"

"Maggie's worried she may have been brainwashed."

"Let's not speculate for now." Eliza said.

"I hate not knowing." Alex said.

"I know, but we'll figure it out."

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	13. Chapter 13

Next time Kara woke she kept her eyes shut and listened, hoping she was alone. She knew if Eliza or Alex were there they would offer comfort and she didn't deserve that. They didn't understand what she had cost them and ignored her when she tried to tell them. Not hearing voices and not feeling the heat of Eliza's body she started to think she was alone. No longer trying to concentrate on her surroundings she suddenly became aware of her body, which was screaming in pain. Scrunching her eyes to help suppress the discomfort she suddenly heard Alex ask.

"Kara? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Kara said, desperate to be alone and not wanting sympathy and hating how dulled her senses were without powers.

"Are you in pain?" Eliza asked. "I'll get Hamilton."

"No, please. No more drugs." Kara pleaded opening her eyes and seeing Eliza, Alex and J'onn all looking down at her with concerned expressions. Their worry only making her feel more guilty. "I'm okay." She said. "I just want to go."

"Back to where we found you?" J'onn asked.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Maybe it's not too late." Kara said sounding desperate.

"Too late for what?" Eliza asked.

"To save him." Kara said a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Kara, I'm not letting you out of here until you start making sense." J'onn said firmly. "If you seriously want me to take you back I need to know what happened. All of it."

"You can't take her back." Alex said outraged.

"Let's hear her out first." J'onn said waving off Alex's concern, believing Kara needed a carrot to coax the information out of her. He then looked at Kara and asked. "What happened? From the start."

"There isn't time." Kara protested.

"Until I know everything there is no chance of you getting out of here." J'onn warned.

"But there is every chance I will go after them, by myself." Alex warned deciding threatening was better than coaxing.

"No. You can't." Kara pleaded getting agitated again. "Please don't."

"Kara, if you don't calm down Hamilton will sedate you again." Eliza warned instantly causing Kara to still. Then more gently Eliza said. "Kara if you really think some good can come from you going back you have to tell us what happened."

"I wasn't there to cover a new political group." Kara confessed. "I was there to investigate an anti-alien cult."

"We know and we'll be discussing your poor judgement later." J'onn said. The harsh comment earning a glare from Eliza who felt support was the best option for Kara.

"What happened then?" Eliza asked.

"When I got down there, it took a few days to find people who could introduce me to people who knew about the cult, or movement as they called it. Eventually though a woman called Nora took me to their lodge where I was introduced to several members."

"They just let you walk in?" J'onn asked.

"The only rule was no phones and no laptops." Kara said. "They all seemed so normal until they started talking about aliens. Then they talked with such hate."

"Did they hurt you?" Eliza asked.

"No, they thought I was human and believed I believed in their cause. A day later a saw Jen."

"Jen?" Alex asked.

"She's the missing girl I was hoping to find. Her mother wrote to me saying how she had run off and joined the group. She'd read my article about those other missing people and thought I might be able to help. I was so happy when I saw her, but then I saw how torn she was. It was like she was desperate to be there, but no longer believed what she was being told. So I started talking to her about her home and her mother. She didn't want to be there, not really. She thought she was helping her mother. Her dad was killed during Myriad and her mom had been struggling to pay the bills ever since. She thought by joining the group she could make a difference, avenge her father somehow. She didn't want anyone to be hurt alien or otherwise and she knew the group wouldn't help, but she felt lost and trapped. She just wanted to go home." Kara explained before falling silent, seemingly lost in her thoughts.

"What happened?" Eliza eventually asked.

"It wasn't like those compounds you see on crime shows. Once you joined you were free to come and go. But they didn't have money. When you join you hand over everything, money, cards, phones. So Jen had nothing so she could leave, but not leave. I still wasn't part of it so I still had money. I gave what I had to Jen and she said she would leave the next day."

"But something went wrong?" J'onn asked.

"I don't know, I mean it must have because they...she... The next day she didn't come to dinner. People were wondering where she was and the others told the people looking that I had been talking to her. So I was invited to see the leader. He was just returning from something and had no idea I was there. I think he was more shocked to see me than I was to see him."

"Who was it?" J'onn asked trying to keep up with Kara's explanation.

"Hank Henshaw."

"So these cults are Cadmus?" J'onn asked as Alex sat her anger silently growing.

"Yeah, they're funding them and using them to recruit armies for attacking aliens. They also use the recruits to experiment on, they're trying to turn them into super soldiers."

"How do you know that?" J'onn asked cautiously.

"I used my super hearing to listen to one of his conversations. I don't know who exactly she was, but she is high up in Cadmus."

"What happened after Henshaw saw you?" J'onn asked.

"Every one else was ordered to leave. He told me if I used my powers he would tell the world who I was and make sure everyone knew your involvement." Kara said looking from Eliza to Alex. "Then he offered a trade."

"What trade?" Alex asked.

"Submit to them and after a month they would release Jeremiah."

"And you just did what they wanted?" Alex asked.

"Of course I did. You could have had your dad back."

"At what cost Kara? What did they make you do?" Alex questioned, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

"They had some sort of Kryptonite gas. They used it on me and I passed out. When I was unconscious they took me somewhere, I don't know where and put me in the building where you found me. They said if I tried to escape or disobeyed them they would kill Jeremiah." Kara explained before her tears started flowing more freely and she added. "They told me they had already killed Jen as I had poisoned her."

"Then what?" Eliza asked hugging Kara.

"They had me solar flare...then they tried to bring my powers back." Kara said.

"How?" Alex questioned.

"By inflicting pain. They thought it would give me an adrenaline rush."

"Oh Sweetie." Eliza said hugging Kara tighter.

"After awhile they left, but they came back, I don't know how much later. And they tried again. When my powers eventually came back they had me solar flare again and it started all over."

"Why didn't you leave?" Alex asked.

"I didn't want Jeremiah to die. I wanted you to have your dad back."

"What happened then?" J'onn asked.

"My powers stopped coming back as quickly. That seemed to excite them more. When they were with me they injected me with things and took my blood and inflicted more pain until I got my powers back. Then they had me solar flare again." She then looked at Alex who saw the raw guilt in Kara's eyes as she added. "I'm sorry. I tried to hold on. I wanted to stay so Jeremiah could go home. If I hadn't passed out I could have told you to leave me. I'm so weak. If I go back now, maybe it isn't too late."

"Kara listen to me." Eliza said. "Even if they were telling you the truth, Jeremiah would not want to be released like that. He loved you." She then looked at Alex and added. "Both of you. You were his world." Looking back at Kara she added. "He would do anything to protect both of you and he would never want you to suffer."

"I have to go back." Kara said.

"Kara we have had a team at the site since we rescued you. There has been no sign of Cadmus." J'onn said.

"So I really did kill him." Kara said softly.

"Kara we don't know what happened to Jeremiah. Cadmus could have been lying." Eliza said. "What we know is they hurt you and you need to focus on getting better."

-00-

"Please tell me you've figured out which rock Cadmus are hiding under." Alex said stalking into the control room a couple of hours later. "I really need to shoot someone."

"We're still working on it." J'onn said, knowing full well when they had found Cadmus he couldn't risk taking Alex on the mission. "But I found something else. There's something you need to know."

"What?"

"Before I tell you, I need your assurance you won't do anything stupid with the knowledge. I am telling you because Kara will need you even more."

"What is it?" Alex asked her mind racing through different possibilities.

"Kara was wearing a ring when we found her." He said handing it to her.

"Something the cult gave her?"

"That was my assumption at first, but look carefully at the marking on the inside."

"L-Corp." Alex read. "I will kill her."

-00-

"You're looking for me?" Maggie said entering Snapper's office.

Looking away from his other visitor it took Snapper a moment to place Maggie's face before he finally greeted. "Detective Sawyer. I appreciate you coming down."

"Seeing you were harassing my Captain. I didn't really have much choice." Maggie said annoyed that she had been ordered to go to CatCo. "So what's the problem?"

"Kara Danvers."

"What about her?"

"She was working a case with you."

"No, she wasn't." Maggie said. "I think she threw you my name to throw you off. So much for verifying sources."

"I'll concede I didn't think she could be so deceptive. I'll commend her when she gets back." Snapper said looking over to his other visitor who said.

"Double pay for cult infiltration. Plus a bonus for getting her out. Based on what I have so far I'll get her out by the weekend."

"I doubt that." Maggie said looking at the unshaven disheveled looking man in the corner.

"As his appearance suggests he is good at digging." Snapper commented. "I've used him plenty of times and he always gets my reporters out of trouble. He has the location of the compound and a way in. I just didn't want to send him in if she was making progress. Seeing she's not, with you anyway, my acquaintance over there will get her out, although at his rates I will own Danvers by the end of this."

"Not this time." Maggie said. "Kara has already been freed, so you would be wasting your money."

"You know where she is?" Snapper asked.

"I do. She's in hospital." Maggie said, suddenly unsure about how much to say.

"Is she okay?"

"Battered, but she'll be okay."

"Can I see her?" Snapper asked.

"No. You are on the list of people her sister holds responsible. You'll need to stay away from Alex for a while and Alex isn't likely to leave Kara's side, partly because she is worried about her and partly because she is torn between throttling her and hugging her." Maggie said.

"I can relate, apart from the hugging part." Snapper said.

"I'll let Kara know to make contact." Maggie said. "But in return I need a favour."

"This isn't a negotiation."

"It kind of is. Besides I just saved you a lot of money and it'll lead to a story." Maggie explained.

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Thank you for all the reviews. For everyone I can't message directly I really appreciate all the support. There is plenty more angst to come! _Alex_ I'm still working on several stories, hopefully they'll live up to expectations.

* * *

"What did you do to her?" Alex asked as she barged into Lena's office.

"I'm sorry Ms Luthor. I couldn't stop her. Shall I call the police?" A flustered Jess said as she scampered behind Alex.

"Do that, I am sure they would love to hear your excuse." Alex said looking at Lena.

"It's okay Jess, I have this. You can go." Lena said watching Jess go before looking at Alex and saying. "You and Kara seem to be competing on who can stress my assistant out more."

"What did you do to her?" Alex snarled as she approached Lena's desk.

"Who? Kara? Nothing." Lena said before her expression turned serious and she leaned forward asking. "Has something happened?"

"Like you don't know." Alex said throwing the ring on the desk. "Don't play innocent. You were arrogant enough to mark the ring."

"That's the ring I gave Kara." Lena said. "What happened to her?"

"Why did you give it to her? So she could be marked as a project? Singled out for torture?"

"She told me she was going to join an anti-alien cult. I was worried they may have some of my alien detectors and gave Kara the ring to stop them working on her."

"She told you she was joining the anti alien-cult?" Alex asked trying not to sound hurt.

"Yes. What did she tell you?" Lena asked.

"Political rally." Alex said.

"That would explain why you let her go." Lena commented.

"What's your excuse for letting her run off?" Alex asked bitterly.

"I'm your sister's friend not her keeper. She's her own woman. She wanted to go and there was no stopping her. So I did all I could do and gave her this." She said looking at the ring. "In the hope it would stop them figuring out she was an alien. I assume that failed."

"They figured out who she was." Alex said, not wanting Lena to know she wasn't to blame.

"Is she okay?"

"She was tortured for nearly a month, so no, she's not okay." Alex said.

"I'm sorry." Lena said. "Can I see her?"

"No." Alex said without justification. After a moment she mellowed remembering that Kara viewed Lena as a friend and added. "Not yet. You're not allowed in the facility."

"I see." Lena said.

"Why does she always have to put others first?" Alex asked as she paced. "I have to start vetting her email. Two sets of missing people and she has gone missing and lost her powers both times."

"Did she find the girl?" Lena asked hoping Kara would find some solace.

"Yes. But they killed her and blamed Kara." Alex explained.

"Although it won't help Kara you should know the missing girl was an excuse. The real reason she chased the story was she hoped the cults would lead to Cadmus. She wanted to find your father." Lena explained.

"Damn it Kara." Alex muttered. "Why does she keep doing this? Why can't she understand that I am not leaving her? When will she accept I don't want to replace her?" She asked rhetorically.

"Can I say something?" Lena asked.

"What?" Alex asked still not trusting Lena.

"You think Kara is afraid of losing you. She's not. In her mind she has already lost you."

"That's crazy." Alex said before asking. "Did she tell you that?"

"Not exactly. But it is pretty easy to read between the lines. She wears her heart on her sleeve."

"It's because I skipped her birthday isn't it?" Alex asked as guilt washed over her.

"It's not just about the birthday. That was just the proverbial straw. Before she left when was the last time you had a sisters' night or the two of you met for breakfast?" Lena asked.

"We've been busy." Alex said before confessing. "I was busy. I kept brushing her off. I thought she was okay with it."

"She wanted you to be happy. She was afraid that if she told you, you would sabotage your relationship with...Maggie is it?" She paused as Alex nodded before going on. "Before she left she was feeling guilty for wanting you to spend more time with her. She thought it made her a bad person."

"What else did she tell you?" Alex asked.

"I won't betray her confidence any more than I already have." Lena said. "But I will tell you what she needs now more than anything is her sister. Don't yell at her or criticise her. I'd put money on the fact that what she wants more than anything right now is a hug."

-00-

"How is she?" Alex asked when she approached the infirmary and saw J'onn looking in.

"Subdued, but she hasn't tried escaping. She finally confessed to being in pain, which is a start." J'onn said. "Where's Luthor?"

"She wasn't involved." Alex stated.

"You sure?" He asked surprised.

"I'm sure." Alex said.

"What about the ring?"

"It stops the Luthor alien detectors registering that Kara is an alien. She was worried the cult may have some of the detectors so gave Kara the ring."

"She knew Kara was going after the cult?" J'onn asked.

"Kara told her and that the real reason was to find dad." Alex said before asking. "You think she told us everything?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure when your sister last told us the complete story about anything."

"And I let her get away with it." Alex said sadly. "I've really let her down."

"We all have." J'onn said. "But it's not too late to make amends. And I'm sure your mom could use a break. I'll be in the control room if you need anything." He added before he walked off. For a minute Alex stood watching Eliza and Kara before taking a breath and entering the infirmary.

"Mom, can I have a minute alone with Kara?" Alex asked.

"Of course." Eliza said kissing Kara's head before leaving.

When Eliza had left Kara looked up at Alex her eyes full of what Alex would class as fear and guilt. Knowing she couldn't say anything to make Kara feel better she just walked up to her and hugged her.

"I'm sorry." Kara sobbed into Alex's shoulder.

"Kara you have nothing to apologise for. What matters is you are safe and you are going to be okay."

"But your dad-"

"If he is dead I know he would have wanted to sacrifice himself to save you. If he's alive we'll get him back. Together, as a family, because that is what we are." Alex said trying to mask the hitch in her voice as she discussed the possibility of her father being dead.

-00-

"Sorry to interrupt. But I have something I thought you'd like to see." Maggie said entering the infirmary several hours later where Eliza and Alex sat either side of Kara. Seeing a small nod from Alex, Maggie stepped forward and took her phone out. "Alex told me about Jen and this morning I went to go see your boss who gave me the name of her mother. So I went to go and see her. I took this photo this morning." Maggie said handing the phone to Kara who looked at the image confused.

"This morning? No. She's dead." Kara said studying the picture of both Jen and her mother.

"They lied to you Kara. Jen is alive and back home with her mother. Both want to see you when you're up to it."

"Jen's alive?" Kara asked in disbelief.

"Didn't we tell you Cadmus can't be trusted?" Alex asked.

"That means Jeremiah could be alive. I have to go back." Kara said trying to get out of her bed.

"Kara, slow down. Without your powers you are not going anywhere." Alex said.

"I can talk to Jen. She can give me names." Kara said suddenly showing more energy than she had since they had found her. "We can track down the others and find Jeremiah."

"Maggie can talk to Jen." Alex pointed out, wanting to keep Kara safe but the comment only causing Kara to feel replaced. The look of hurt that crossed Kara's face was enough for Alex to realise her mistake. "Kara, Cadmus are out there and they know you don't have your powers and they want to kill you. It isn't safe for you out there."

"They will always be trying to kill me. But right now I can make a difference."

"If you really want to help. Help us figure out who else was in the cult. You saw everyone and you heard things no one else could. Work with Winn to help us track them down." J'onn said.

"They know about your connection to me. You are all in danger too." Kara said.

"We'll be careful." J'onn promised. "No one will leave here by themselves. And Winn can monitor everyone from the control room."

Knowing she wouldn't win the argument but could still win the war Kara reluctantly nodded her agreement.

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing. I am going to be stuck on several planes for the next day or so, so the next chapter may be up a little later than normal.


	15. Chapter 15

"Well that could have gone better." Maggie said as she and Alex left Jen's mother's house without any new information.

"And we've wasted an hour." Alex said climbing into the SUV.

"You can't blame her for being scared." Maggie reminded her.

"I know. But it is still frustrating that she wouldn't talk." Alex said.

"To us." Maggie said before clarifying. "She has no reason to trust us. I know you won't like it, but we should send Kara to talk to them. I mean it is kind of understandable that Jen doesn't trust anyone right now."

"What if she is still part of the cult? Or an actual Cadmus operative? What if she is bait to get Kara out in the open?" Alex asked.

"I didn't say send Kara alone." Maggie pointed out.

"It's still too risky." Alex said. "Especially with Kara like this. I have never seen her so broken."

"What are you going to tell her?" Maggie asked. "Because if you tell her Jen wouldn't talk to us because she didn't trust us, something tells me Kara is going to come out here regardless of your opinion."

"You're right. If she thinks there's a chance that Jen will talk to her she'll leave the DEO." Alex said. "Which is why I'll tell her that Jen doesn't want to get involved."

"Are you sure lying to Kara is the best option?" Maggie asked.

"No. It normally ends badly, but for now it is the only way to keep her safe."

-00-

"Did she say anything?" Kara asked as soon as Alex and Maggie entered the DEO.

"No. She didn't want to talk." Alex said, keeping her answer short so she didn't have to tell an outright lie. "How are you getting on here?"

"The initial cult building where Kara was taken has been cleaned out. There are no signs of anyone having been there. They've even wiped all the prints."

"What about the financial trail?" Maggie asked.

"It is owned by a shell company, more than that we haven't been able to find anything useful." Winn said. "But we have a list of people who have been arrested for attacks on aliens and Kara is looking through all the records to see if she recognises anyone. I mean if you want to build an army to fight aliens you may as well start with people who fight aliens, right?"

"And do you recognise anyone?" Alex asked Kara.

"No, but I'm not very far through yet. Not having powers makes it really slow. But I should be done in a few hours."

"You should be resting." Eliza said gently.

"I'm okay." Kara said as she kept looking through the files Winn had found. The comment causing Eliza to throw a pleading glance to Alex.

"You know I can see the faces you are all pulling from the reflection in the screen?" Kara pointed out. "I'm okay."

"We're just worried about you." Eliza said. "Until you're powers are back you shouldn't be overdoing it."

"I'm just sitting in front of a computer." Kara said.

"Well you maybe okay, but I'm not." Alex said. "I'm starving and you owe me like twenty dinners so you can buy me some food for a change."

"Does that mean I can leave?" Kara asked.

"No. It means I'm going to bring back pizza." Maggie said.

"And potstickers." Alex added.

-00-

"How are you doing really?" Alex asked as she and Kara sat in the rec room eating the pizza an hour later.

"I don't understand how can you even be in the same room as me?" Kara asked. "Twice I could have saved Jeremiah and twice I failed."

"Kara, there is no way that Cadmus would have released dad." Alex said. "And even if they did do you really think any of us would have wanted you to pay that price?"

"It's only fair. He was taken from you because of me." Kara said.

"And his friendship with your cousin." Alex reminded her. "Even if you hadn't come into our lives, his knowledge of your cousin made him a valuable target." When Kara shrugged non-committally Alex went on. "Kara I know the Narth made you see things that has caused you to start second guessing, but there's no point. If you hadn't come into our lives maybe dad would still be with us, but maybe he wouldn't. And without you who would have saved me when my board knocked me unconscious and I nearly drowned? You can question every event and every decision, but all it will do is drive you crazy. There are very few things we can be sure of, but I for one am sure I want you as a sister. And although you may not be sure that this is where you want to be, there is no where else I want you to be. I know you think you've lost me but you haven't. And when this is over we are going to have a long talk. But right now you look tired. You should get some sleep."

"I still have all the records to go through." Kara pointed out.

"That can wait. You are more important."

-00-

"What's wrong?" Alex as she entered the lab where her mother was sitting in front of a computer.

"I'm just worried about Kara and what they did to her. Did she talk to you?"

"Not really. Just enough to get across her guilt." Alex said. "But I did persuade her to get some rest."

"If only someone could do the same for you." Eliza said.

"I'm okay." Alex smiled wearily. "Besides the same could be said about you."

"Well you and Kara seem rather focused on causing me to worry." Eliza said causing Alex to hug her.

"I'm sorry I don't mean to."

"I know. But I'm your mother, I will always worry about you." Eliza smiled as she pulled back.

"So what's keeping you up tonight?" Alex asked.

"Cadmus are organised and efficient. I know I haven't spent as long as you tracking them down, but they don't seem to act randomly. Everything they do is for a purpose. Last time they took Kara they made her solar flare to take her blood to gain access to the Fortress of Solitude. So what was there end game this time?"

"You think there is more to it than just long term effects of solar flaring?" Alex asked.

"Assuming Kara is telling us everything, which she may not be, we know they took blood samples and injected her with something. So they must be looking for something or testing something. And why solar flare by using her heat vision into the helmet?" Eliza asked.

"You think they are harnessing it somehow?"

"I don't know. Maybe I am just being paranoid. I hope I am but I just feel like we are missing something."

"All the more reason to hunt Cadmus down." Alex said

"Please don't do anything that puts you in danger." Eliza said. "I am not sure how much more I can take"

"I'll be careful." Alex promised.

"Alex." J'onn said entering the room. "We have a possible location."

"I'll be right there." Alex said leaving the lab as Eliza quietly pleaded.

"Stay safe."

-00-

"That was a complete waste of time." Alex complained as she returned to the DEO control room early the next morning. "Next time we need a better verification of leads." She added just before she noticed Winn's strange expression.

"What?" She asked.

"Alex." Eliza said when she saw her eldest. "Thank god you're back."

"What's wrong?" Alex asked immediately growing concerned

"It's Kara. She's gone." Eliza explained.

"What do you mean gone?" Alex asked eyes wide.

"She left the DEO." J'onn said walking up behind Eliza.

"Why?" Alex asked before asking. "But we can track her right?"

"No we can't. She left her necklace with a note for you." J'onn said handing Alex the envelope.

"Kara doesn't go anywhere without that necklace, unless….that stupid alien." She said frustrated.

"What?" Eliza asked.

"Last time she left her necklace was when she went off to fight Non during Myriad and she didn't think she would make it back."

"You're saying she thinks she is going on a suicide mission?" Eliza asked as Alex opened the envelope. "But she doesn't have her powers. What did she say?"

"Nothing that helps us find her." Alex said reading the letter, before putting it in her pocket.

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	16. Chapter 16

"Kara! I am so glad that you are okay." Lena greeted after Jess had shown the surprise visitor into the office. But on seeing the bruises and bandages she asked. "Are you okay?"

Looking down at one of the bandages on her hand Kara said. "These will heal soon."

"And the wounds we can't see?" Lena probed as she patted the couch next to where she was sitting, indicating Kara should join her.

"I'll be okay." Kara said as she sat down.

"Currently that seems hard to believe. I am sorry that the ring failed. I'd hoped it would keep you safe." Lena apologised.

"It didn't fail." Kara said.

"Then how did they find out you were Supergirl?"

"They already knew who I was." Kara explained.

"How?" Lena asked confused.

"The person running the cult was the original Hank Henshaw, who had tried to take me into captivity shortly after I arrived on Earth. That's how Jeremiah ended up joining the DEO. He traded himself to keep me free. Now Hank Henshaw works for Cadmus, he helped your mother capture me a few months ago, before the whole Medusa thing. I am not sure he could believe it when I was taken into his office. As soon as he saw me my cover was blown."

"I see." Lena said trying to process all all the information Kara had unloaded on her before figuring out who Kara was talking about. "Was that the man with the mask who attacked L-Corp?"

"Yes."

"Where is this Henshaw now?"

"Still out there somewhere." Kara said.

"Perhaps I can help then." Lena offered. "I could visit my mother and ask."

"She wouldn't tell you and I don't want you to be a position where your mother disappoints you again." Kara said.

"You really are special." Lena commented. "You have just been tortured and you are worried about me getting hurt by a verbal sparring match with my mother."

"I wasn't tortured exactly. And I'm back now. But no matter what she has done and will do, she will always be your mother."

"Adoptive mother." Lena corrected before pointing out. "Your sister said you were tortured."

"You spoke to Alex?" Kara asked confused.

"She saw L-Corp on the ring and assumed I had given it to you to set you up."

"She didn't hurt you did she?" Kara asked looking for damage both on Lena and in the office.

"No. We just talked." Lena said brushing over Alex's abrupt entrance into her office. "She is very protective of you. So protective I am surprised she is okay with you being out in the open, especially as you have clearly lost some of your powers."

"All my powers." Kara corrected. "She doesn't know I'm here. I just left. I felt so useless, I had to do something."

"Why?"

"I had a chance to free Jeremiah, um Alex's dad, my foster father." Kara said unable to remember what she had already told Lena.

"But you couldn't? And now you want to go back and try to get him out again?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Cadmus want me. I'll trade." Kara stated simply.

"I'm pretty sure Cadmus can't be trusted. After all my mother worked for them and I wouldn't trust her to honour an airtight contract." Lena said.

"I can't do nothing." Kara said. "I have to get him out."

"Even at the cost of your own life?"

"If I get Jeremiah back it will be worth it."

"What is your goal Kara?" Lena asked. "To get Jeremiah back or go out in a blaze of glory?"

"To get Jeremiah back." Kara said surprised by the question.

"Yet you seem to be focusing on the blaze of glory."

"I'm not." Kara argued.

"Unlike your cousin you work as part of a team so I know you can ask for help. Yet you aren't. But in order to get your foster father back you will need the best team possible. You can't do it alone. Perhaps you need to accept a little help."

"Not if it places people in danger."

"Kara, I know that if Cadmus kills you or captures you, Alex will go after them, single handedly if needed. She'll end up in the same situation as you. Not asking for her help won't keep her safe. If anything it will get you both killed."

-00-

"Anything?" Alex asked impatiently as she watched Winn type at his computer.

"Since you asked thirty seconds ago? No." Winn said getting flustered by the constant questions.

"What's taking so long?" Alex asked pacing.

"Ignoring the constant questions? Tracking someone isn't magic. You need a signal and seeing she isn't wearing her necklace and doesn't have her phone or powers I am having to mine data like CCTV. It takes time." Winn said.

"Hurry it up." Alex said. "Without powers she won't be able to fight off an attack."

"Which is why I need help." Kara said entering the control room and immediately finding herself being engulfed in hugs from Eliza and Alex.

"I thought you'd gone after Cadmus." Alex said hugging her. "The note, the goodbye..."

"I was going to. I wanted to. That's why I left, so I could talk to Jen and find a way to make contact with Cadmus so I could offer myself for Jeremiah." Kara explained.

"Kara no one wants that. And Jeremiah would never live with himself if his freedom cost your life." Eliza said pulling away from Kara hoping to see some indication that she understood.

"What made you change your mind?" J'onn asked.

"I got names and locations, but then I spoke to Lena who pointed out I shouldn't do this alone, I couldn't do it alone."

"Pretty sure we've all been telling you that." Winn muttered quietly from his corner.

"I wanted to find Jeremiah." Kara said. "And if there was a way for me to trade my life for his I would, gladly. But I know I can't trust Cadmus to honour the trade. The only way to get Jeremiah back is to take him back. Ultimately this is about stopping Cadmus and finding Jeremiah. I can't do either of those without my powers. But you all can." Kara said.

"You have a plan?" J'onn asked.

"I do." Kara said. "But I need you to have faith in me."

"Always." Alex said as she hugged Kara again before pulling away and saying. "But you are not allowed to move from this room."

"So what's the plan?" J'onn asked.

"We offer Cadmus what they want." Kara stated.

"Which is?" J'onn asked.

"Me."

"You do remember the part where Cadmus can't be trusted?" Alex said feeling her blood pressure rise on hearing Kara's plan.

"Well, neither can we." Kara said earning a curious look from everyone else in the room.

 **TBC...**

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	17. Chapter 17

"You okay?" J'onn asked when he saw Kara sitting on a bed in the infirmary, chewing her lip.

"Yeah. Alex insisted she and Hamilton run some more tests on me, so I am just waiting for the next needle session, whilst waiting to see if Cadmus respond to my email."

"They'll respond. You are too important to them not to."

"What if he is already dead?" Kara asked.

"They'll still offer a trade. We'll still get them." J'onn said. "What else is bothering you?"

"Nothing."

"So the frown and nervous playing with your hands has nothing to do with the mission?"

"Maybe I'm a little worried."

"It's your plan."

"That doesn't make me feel better. In fact it makes me feel worse."

"It's a good plan." J'onn said.

"No it's not. Emailing a cult member asking them to facilitate a trade and then send you in in my place in the hope they use Kryptonite and give you the element of surprise is not exactly a clever plan."

"Sometimes simple is better. Less to go wrong." J'onn pointed out.

"But it could still go wrong and all I can do is sit here."

"The hardest part of working in a team is watching others risk their lives when you can do nothing to help them." J'onn said as he sat down next to Kara on the bed.

"I know. But normally I don't have to worry about that. I'm the one at risk. Sitting on this side makes me realise that your job sucks."

"Only sometimes." J'onn said smiling softly before assuring Kara. "We'll be okay."

"You promise?"

"I promise that I will do everything I can to bring everyone back safely."

"Including you? I mean you are carrying the biggest risk, pretending to be me."

"Including me and especially Alex. The plan is good and we'll have the element of surprise, both in terms of a team ready to come in and Kryptonite not working on me." He said. "But no matter what happens do not leave the DEO. If you do it will distract Alex."

"Okay." Kara agreed.

"Good." J'onn said standing before placing a firm hand on Kara's shoulder. "It's a good plan."

"But Cadmus still haven't taken the bait." Kara pointed out as her doubts continued to build.

"They will." J'onn said.

"And if they don't?"

"Supergirl will just have to get their attention." He said as Alex entered the infirmary.

"It worked. The contact that Jen gave Kara just emailed back with a time and location for the swap."

"Told you." J'onn said to Kara whose frown had deepened.

"I'll meet you in the armoury in a few minutes." J'onn said to Alex before he gave Kara's shoulder another squeeze before leaving the sisters alone.

"Please be careful." Kara said to Alex who came and stood next to her.

"Always." Alex said hugging her. "Look after mom okay?"

"Of course." Kara said keeping hold of Alex.

"I have to go." Alex said pulling out of the hug. "I love you."

"Love you too."

-00-

"Supergirl." Hank Henshaw said when she entered the building he was waiting in.

"Henshaw." Supergirl replied as she moved to the centre of the building. "Where's Jeremiah?"

"Somewhere you won't find him." Henshaw said pulling a small device from his pocket.

"You never intended on keeping your end of the trade then?" Supergirl asked.

"In the same way you had no intention of giving us Supergirl." Henshaw said. "We are not stupid. We know the Kryptonian will be without her powers for at least another thirty six hours. We also know how much your kind fear fire." He added moments before a wall off flames built around J'onn who felt the fear build within him.

-00-

Alex listened as the scene unfolded and as soon as she realised their plan had failed and J'onn had just walked into an ambush she ordered her team in. As the Agents hurried to the building Alex saw Cyborg Superman run into the woods. For a second she was torn between rescuing J'onn and pursuing Henshaw. Trusting her team and desperate to get answers she chose to follow Henshaw. Struggling to keep up with his superior speed she found herself concentrating less on her surroundings and more on running until the ground gave out and she felt herself fall.

-00-

Opening her eyes Alex tried to fight off the effects of the fall. As she moved though she realised she must have been knocked out as she was no longer armed and was tied to a metal beam. Opening her eyes she quickly found herself being blinded by a flash light shining in her eyes.

"Hello Alexandra." A woman greeted

"Who are you?" Alex demanded trying to ignore the pain in her knee, ribs and head. Squinting against the light she could see the woman was of medium build with dark hair, but beyond that she couldn't make out any features.

"I am practically family." The woman said, her voice almost gleeful. "Perhaps you should view me as a grateful god mother. I mean I know so much about you. More than perhaps anyone. You see I have heard so much about you and I have been following your life very closely. You know I almost had to intervene a few years ago when you had that run in with the police, I think I could have recruited you then. But the Martian got to you first."

"I would never work for you." Alex said.

"That's what your father said at first. In the end it didn't take long for him to change his mind. And even without you working for us, all the major progress Cadmus has made over the last decade has been because of you." She said.

"What are you talking about?" Alex asked looking round for an advantage. However the darkness of the mine shaft combined with the flash light shining in her eyes made it almost impossible.

"Your father has progressed our cause, our technology, more than anyone else. He is our greatest servant."

"He would never help you."

"But he does. Thanks to you. I gave him a choice. Help us or watch as you became our new lab rat. I had so many plans for you, but your father made such good progress I found another rat, then another and another and another. The only thing they had in common was they all died by your father's hand as he tried to implement cyborg technology. But he got there eventually, practice really does make perfect." The woman paused and watched as her words sunk in before saying. "You could join us Alexandra, you could work along side your father. After all, he is the only person to ever fully appreciate you and your potential." The woman said.

"I will never join you." Alex said resolutely.

"Never is a long and, for you it will be, a very lonely time." The woman said as she circled round Alex. "I made your father work for us. I made the Kryptonian willingly give up her powers again and again. I had so much pain inflicted on her and yet with one false promise I made her not walk out of an unlocked door. And I made your Martian walk into a trap whilst luring you here. I always get my way. It is only a matter of time before you willingly choose to join us. Everyone has a weakness and I look forward to finding and exploiting yours in the coming months. Rest assured in time you will be our greatest asset." The woman said. "But for now goodbye." She added before disappearing into the darkness of the disused mine. Moments later a DEO team appeared in the shaft.

-00-

"Are you okay?" Kara asked when Alex returned to the DEO.

"I'm fine." Alex said hugging her sister.

"We'll let Hamilton decide that." J'onn said.

"I'm okay." Alex argued.

"Then it won't take long." J'onn said before looking at Eliza and Kara. "I'm sorry we didn't get him back."

"But we know they have him and he is still alive." Alex said.

"He is?" Kara asked feeling a weight lift from her shoulders.

"He is." Alex said hugging Kara again.

-00-

"You want to talk about what happened?" J'onn asked as he entered Alex's lab an hour later.

"We failed to capture them or free dad. Not much to talk about." Alex said.

"I meant after you had fallen into the tunnel."

"Nothing to talk about."

"Sometimes I don't know who is worse. You or your sister." J'onn said. "You both need to learn how to share. But you have been through enough for one day, so go home and get some rest. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Good night." Alex said limping away from J'onn almost walking into her mother at the door.

"Are you okay?" Eliza asked.

"I'm fine. I was going to go home and get some sleep, unless you or Kara need me."

"We'll be fine. Make sure you rest." Eliza instructed briefly hugging Alex before watching her daughter leave. Once she was gone she walked over to J'onn and asked.

"What happened out there?"

"Which part?" J'onn asked.

"All of it. None of it makes sense."

"I agree. They could have, should have killed me. I think I was used as a distraction to lure Alex away. To what end I don't know. Right now we have more questions than answers."

-00-

"Hey." Maggie said as she entered the apartment. But on seeing Alex's scratched face she asked. "What happened?"

"I had a run in with Cadmus."

"Are you okay?" Maggie questioned.

"I'm fine." Alex said pouring herself another glass of whiskey.

"For someone who is fine, that is a lot of whiskey to have gone through." Maggie said as she saw how depleted the whiskey bottle was. "You want to talk about what really happened out there?"

"I fell down a hole and had an unplanned meeting with a woman who works for, or maybe runs, Cadmus. She told me my father was working for her and was killing because of me." Alex explained. Maggie was about to comment when Alex added. "Then she said I would choose to join Cadmus."

"You'd never do that."

"She said she would find my weakness and exploit it. What if she meant you? What if she goes after you?" Alex asked, concern etched in her face.

"Then you'll kick their asses." Maggie said.

"I'm serious. I am putting you in danger." Alex replied, clearly frustrated Maggie didn't seem to be taking her seriously.

"I'm a cop, I'm used to danger. And you are more than worth the risk." Maggie said. "Your mom told me that you always make the difficult choices. It's not right that you carry that burden, but it is who you are. Watching them go after someone you care about will be hard, but you know it can't justify helping them and you can't use it as an excuse to hide from the world. Them hurting me, killing me it's a risk, but my life is not worth you joining Cadmus." Maggie said before drawing Alex into a hug. "Whatever they do you won't be alone, you have me, Kara, J'onn and your mom. We will always have your back."

-00-

"You should be resting." J'onn said as he joined Kara on the DEO balcony.

"Watching the city helps me relax." Kara said before looking at J'onn and saying. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" J'onn asked.

"Putting you in danger. You had to face your inner demons because of me."

"Cadmus used fire against me. Not you." J'onn reminded her. "But if you feel that strongly about it you can make it up to me by talking to me."

"About what?"

"What you're going through. Even in your darkest times you are not alone."

"I know. It's just...it's just I was sent to Earth to protect Kal-El. That was my purpose. Only I ended up being the one needing protection and that cost Alex, Eliza and Jeremiah so much. Kal never needed me. I can't help but think that everyone would have been better if my parents had never put me in that pod. If I had died with them on Krypton Earth would still have Superman, Kal would still be fine and the Danvers would be happy."

"Sweetie, we are happy." Eliza said walking out to join them. "You have brought us so much happiness. Never forget that. We'll never know what would have happened if you had died on Krypton, but I do know our lives would have been poorer because of it." She added as she drew Kara in for a hug. "And if anything were to happen to you I don't know what I or Alex would do." She then pulled away and added. "And that is why you should be resting."

"I can't yet. I have a story to finish. If it is good enough maybe Snapper won't fire me."

"He'd be stupid to let you go." J'onn said before asking. "Does Alex know you are going back to work tomorrow?"

"No. I didn't want to stress her out tonight." Kara said.

"So you are leaving me to deal with her tomorrow?" J'onn asked.

"Kind of." Kara said sheepishly.

"Are you sure it is safe?" Eliza asked.

"J'onn heals really quickly." Kara assured her.

"I didn't mean upsetting Alex, I meant you going back to work." Eliza clarified.

"I can't hide forever. Besides I've agreed to wear a special tracker so J'onn, Winn and Alex can track me." She then looked at J'onn and asked. "I know you have done a lot for me today already, but can I ask another favour?"

"Anything." J'onn nodded.

 **TBC...**

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 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing. Final chapter up tomorrow.


	18. Chapter 18

"Ponytail?" Snapper asked looking up. For a minute he looked at Kara's bruised face before saying. "We need to discuss protocol and your pending unemployment."

"I know you're mad at me right now." Kara said. "But I have a good story."

"One which you should have told me about, in full, from the start. If you believe in a story you make me believe. If you can't do that you'll never persuade the public." Snapper said. "If you want to run off gun ho that's fine. But you do it as a free lance. Which if your article is not outstanding you'll be anyway." Seeing Kara open her mouth to speak he held up a hand. "I'm not done yet. You lied, you said you were working with the police."

"Actually I said 'what if I was working with the police' and you took that as, I was working with the police." Kara said nervously adjusting her glasses.

"What are you a lawyer?" Snapper asked.

"You keep telling me language is important." Kara reminded him.

"When chasing and writing. Not when talking to me. I'm your editor, that makes me your boss, your priest, your god. You confess, you beg for mercy. You tell me everything, except your personal problems, which I really don't care about. Do I make myself clear?" Snapper asked.

"Yes boss."

"So what happened?"

"I found the girl and got her out of there, but that lost me a few friends." Kara said.

"I sent an investigator, of sorts, to find you. The rumour going round was you were an alien."

"Makes sense. I mean if you wanted to get rid of someone and the only people asking questions hated aliens wouldn't you say that?" Kara asked glad she had rehearsed the cover story with J'onn first. "They knew I had helped Jen escape so they locked me away. They thought I wasn't alone and wanted me to give up my partners."

"Looks like they more than just locked you away." Snapper said looking once again at Kara's wounds. When Kara remained silent he added. "I commend your dedication, however the beaten reporter look is not what CatCo goes for. Cat always preferred the psychological torture of her employees."

"Once was enough for me." Kara agreed.

"So where is it?" Snapper asked.

"What?"

"The article you are hoping will save your job." Snapper said holding out his hand. Nervously Kara gave him the article and waited while he read it. Nervously she watched as he sighed, scribbled and shook his head.

"Did you actually attend an elementary school?" Snapper finally asked. "Because this is missing basic grammar and the spelling is wrong." There was then another long pause before he said. "But the story has enough appeal to draw in the readers and buy you another day. Make the corrections and get it back to me by lunch. After that I will decide on your employment status."

Smiling Kara took the article from him and was just turning to leave when Snapper asked.

"You know what I find interesting?"

"What?"

"Your complete lack of interest in Supergirl's absence."

"Is she missing?" Kara questioned.

"You tell me, you're her goto girl."

"I've not spoken to her since I left on the story." Kara said.

"Interesting." Snapper commented.

"But I don't think she is missing." Kara added. "I mean she is on the news right now." She said pointing to a bank of screens, showing live scenes of J'onn as Supergirl rescuing some puppies. Confused Snapper watched the footage for a minute before turning back to face Kara only to find she had gone.

-00-

"Did it work?" J'onn asked.

"Based on his confused frown if he had any suspicions about me being Supergirl they disappeared quickly. Thank you. Enough people know about me as it is."

"Of course." J'onn smiled moments before Alex marched into the control room.

"What were you thinking? What possessed you to go back to work? They are still out there Kara."

"They will always be out there."

"But you won't always not have powers. Would it really have hurt you to stay here until they returned?"

"I'd already avoided Snapper for too long. I had to see him." Kara said.

"You should have taken me with you." Alex said.

"You can't follow me round all the time." Kara said. "I don't need protecting all the time. I can take care of myself."

"Your recent knack of getting kidnapped suggests otherwise." Alex countered.

"It's not like I planned to get kidnapped."

"Really? I was pretty sure that was your plan when you chose to join an anti-alien cult."

"Why can't you understand I had to do it?"

"How can I when you won't talk to me?" Alex asked.

"I do talk to you."

"Then tell me what really happened with Cadmus or the Narth." Alex demanded.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. Why can't you be honest?"

"That's enough. Both of you." J'onn interrupted. "Both of you are hiding things."

"Now where are you going?" Alex asked noticing Kara was walking off.

"Home. Don't try to stop me."

"I don't know what happened in the mine shaft yesterday, but don't take it out on Kara." J'onn warned walking off.

-00-

"Alex? What are you doing here?" Kara asked as she opened her apartment door later that evening and saw Alex standing there.

"Movie night." Alex said holding a pizza box and a couple of DVDs. "And an apology I shouldn't have lost my temper earlier. What happened yesterday freaked me out, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"So you're not here to yell at me?" Kara said suspiciously, knowing Alex was still upset she wasn't staying at the DEO.

"No."

"Interrogate me about what happened?"

"No."

"Is this some sort of psychological trick?"

"No. No tricks, no yelling, no interrogation. Just sisters' night."

"What about Maggie?"

"She's working a case. So are you going to let me in or do I need to find someone else to eat this pizza?" Alex asked waving the box. Stepping to one side Kara let Alex into her apartment.

"You've been painting." Alex commented noticing the fresh artwork in the corner.

"It helps clear my mind, especially when I can't fly. It also gave me something to do while Snapper figures out if he is going to fire me."

"Well you do kind of deserve it for lying to him." Alex said.

"I know. I won't do it again." Kara said.

"Good." Alex said wanting to demand Kara made the same promise to her but instead added. "So pizza?"

"Sounds good."

-00-

An hour into the movie Alex's self restraint wore off and she paused the movie before saying.

"I'm sorry I ignored you."

"You didn't. I understand you want to spend time with Maggie and I'm happy for you. You deserve to be happy."

"So do you, and I should never have skipped out on your birthday."

"It's just a birthday. And I know you don't like them."

"But you do. And this one was special. And I never should have forgotten its significance to you."

"You have your own life Alex."

"I saw your life and started projecting my life onto it. I'd felt overwhelmed and then happy because of Maggie. I thought you were going through the same thing with Mon-El. I was so caught up in my life I didn't even bother to dig deeper and think about what else you were going through."

"Well I could have told you." Kara said trying to take the blame.

"Yes you could." Alex agreed. "Why didn't you?"

"Because you were happy. And we both know I really don't cope well with change and I just thought I'd get over it." Kara confessed.

"I should have been there for you. But I am here now so start talking. But if the next words out of your mouth are 'I'm fine' I am going to exploit your lack of powers."

"After Myriad I felt so good. I mean I had defeated Non, I had Cat's respect, James and I had a future together, I got to work with Clark….Then everything started to change. Cat left, I had a new boss, a new job, James and I broke up, Mon-El came into my life and made me question my beliefs, I found out my father supported genocide, I killed someone, Guardian appeared, James and Winn lied to me, then there was my birthday when I felt more disconnected from Krypton than ever and then you, you had someone more important in your life. And I am happy for you, I really am, but it just feels like everything is happening so fast."

"You and I really need to work on the communicating thing." Alex said taken aback by the length of the list, wondering how she had missed the build up. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you were happy."

"Kara I am your big sister. It is my job to look out for you. And no matter what happens in our lives I will always be your sister." Alex said hugging her. "No matter what happens you need to talk to me. Okay?"

"Okay." Kara agreed before asking. "So seeing how we are sharing, are you going to tell me what happened in the mine shaft?"

"There was a woman who told me that dad had been killing people and that I would join Cadmus."

"What was she smoking?" Kara asked.

"She said she would exploit my weakness." Alex explained.

"You think she is going to use Maggie, Eliza, J'onn and me against you?" Kara guessed. "And that is why you got so freaked out earlier? You think they'll come after us?"

"She said dad is working for her to protect me. She could force me down the same route."

"No she couldn't." Kara said. "You are the most stubborn person I know and even if she backed you into a corner you would figure out a way out. The only way she'll truly win is if you try to do something stupid to protect us. Don't shut us out. Especially Maggie." Kara warned.

"That advice works both ways." Alex said. Seeing Kara's confused look she added. "You still haven't told me the whole truth of what you saw after the Narth touched you or what really happened for those weeks you were held by Cadmus. I'm not going to push you, but when you're ready I'm here. But tonight no more talking. Just hugging." Alex said.

"I've missed this." Kara confessed.

"Me too." Alex said as she held her sister.

"We'll get him back." Kara said softly.

"You know I only want that if you are part of the reunion?" Alex said. "I can't lose you."

"Alex?" Kara asked.

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay here tonight? I don't want to wake from my nightmares alone." Kara said quietly.

"I'm not going anywhere." Alex promised her wanting to ask about the nightmares, but knowing Kara would tell her in her own time.

-00-

"When will we bring her in?" Henshaw asked.

"We won't. She'll come to us." The woman who had talked to Alex in the mine replied.

"That seems unlikely." Henshaw said.

"It'll happen. Her world will crumble and she'll feel like she has no choice." The woman said.

"You promised you wouldn't hurt her." Jeremiah rem minded her.

"Let me remind you, you and your wife caused her more damage than I ever could the day you took in the alien." The brunette said looking at Jeremiah. "But I haven't hurt Alexandra. Nor will I, directly anyway. As long as you hold up your end of the deal. Now I have sewn the seed of paranoia Alex will slowly shut herself off from the world. She will lose her connections to everyone and when the time is right we will strike and force her hand. She will run to us, well you." She smiled. "Now finish the weapon unless you want to watch me destroy your family."

 **The End**

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 **A/N** : Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoyed it. There may be a second part to the story, I'm just waiting to see where the show goes first.


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